I am not a Robot… }o; I think

There’s one main reason why I prefer using my MacBook Pro over my PC for most of my “internet surfing.” People still call it surfin’ the internet, right?

Anytime I buy something or create a username for any website I come across a CAPTCHA quiz where my computer gets to decide whether or not I am a human. What’s with all of the pop quizzes, internet?

Old School Time Vortex of Words Captcha

These quizzes used to consist of strange combinations of letters and numbers that have passed through some wild time vortex. Those were easier than the visual ones of today. Anytime I am forced to choose which boxes contain [the secret item of the day] I’m only about 50% sure I’m right.

Is the pole part of the traffic light? Do jetskis count as boats? Is a boat still a boat if it’s on a trailer and not in the water? If most humans wouldn’t eat it, is it still considered food?

I didn’t know I had to go through an existential crisis to sign up for Bed, Bath and Beyond’s email list, or to buy concert tickets. Why are all of these robots wasting their time buying concert tickets and joining mailing lists? Who programmed them to do this?

They also never flat out tell you when you’re wrong, instead they move on to a new word. Maybe you’re just a dumb dumb, try again to convince me you are not a robot.

Why MacBook over PC:

Back to my main point: On my PC I have to actually choose which pictures are boats, roads, crosswalks or whatever they’re asking for. My MacBook (most of the time) assumes it’s still me and not a robot hijacking my Mac. So, it rarely goes into the guessing game. Instead I check the box I am not a robot (checkmark), and I continue with my purchase or whatever it is I’m doing.

So, although Macs are more expensive than your normal everyday PC, it’s definitely worth paying that extra money, just because your MacBook will remember that you are not a robot. If you don’t mind your computer accusing you of being a robot time and time again, then go ahead and get that DELL (or HP, or whatever Windows PC).

Take Me Back (Back to Batuu)

The first time I visited Batuu (Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge in Walt Disney World) was back in October of 2019. It was a day trip* and I couldn’t wait to go back. I didn’t have to wait very long, by December we made another day trip to Batuu. I was also able to go for a few hours in January of 2020, but it was too crowded and I got rained on, so I decided to come home early. That was my last trip to Walt Disney World.

MY STAR WARS STORY:
I didn’t grow up a huge Star Wars fan. I wasn’t really exposed to Star Wars until the Prequel Trilogy (Episodes I-III), which I watched in theaters. In middle school, a friend tried to show me the original trilogy and I didn’t care for it. I was more into silly comedies and buddy cop movies back then. (Some of my favorites included The Big Hit starring Markie Mark and John Leguizamo’s The Pest and of course, Face Off with John Travolta and Nick Cage).

It wasn’t until hearing about J.J. Abrams’s new Star Wars Trilogy that I decided to sit down and watch all six films. I thought, “Hey, this dude made me think Star Trek** was cool again!” I enlisted my best friend (who wasn’t really into Star Wars either) and we watched all six movies, about one per week. This time we really got into them.


Side Note: We did take one week off to watch an indie movie, The Way, Way Back which ended up biting us in the butt. It must have been after watching Empire. In one scene some kid is playing with some Luke and Leia toys and making them kiss, and someone yells, “Gross! They’re brother and sister!” Of course, this was already public knowledge, but I guess we had forgotten since we were currently watching everything for the first time. We both screamed out, “Aw, spoiler alert!” even though it was about thirty years, too late (that’s on us).

It wasn’t just the Star Wars films that got me excited, I immersed myself in the universe with The Clone Wars (which I’m re-watching now in order of events) and Rebels. I even have read a few of the Star Wars comics and books (Lords of the Sith, Ahsoka, Phasma and some others). I love the art of Star Wars, and all the amazing fan art. I even recently bought the twenty-two pound Ralph McQuarrie art book that has been in my Amazon cart for a few years. I woke up early on Friday mornings to watch the latest Mandalorian episode on Disney+ before going to work.

I may have become a fan of everything Star Wars a bit late in life, but I have become a big fan. I love that we’re now able to travel to Batuu. We can have a drink at Oga’s Cantina. We can pilot the Millennium Falcon, which I did and even got to warp us into light speed. I still haven’t been on Rise of the Resistance, which brings me to the point of this whole thing.

A NEW BATUU:
I planned to visit Disney with my girlfriend for my birthday, back in March. However, my birthday happened to be about a weekend or two after Disney World decided to close due to the pandemic. I know that they are opened right now, with limited capacity and lots of new rules (which makes complete sense). And, I hope that Disney is able to set the example of how to reopen such a large place during this pandemic.

I am a Walt Disney World Passholder and I want to go back as soon as possible. I had definitely planned to go for my birthday and at least one more time before the summer blackout took place. I just don’t want to go to Disney during a pandemic. I don’t want to have to wear a mask while I’m there and only be able to enjoy partial experiences of all the things I love.

The great part about visiting Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is going to a new planet, Batuu. You’re able to let go and not worry about what’s going on in the real world for a few days. I definitely don’t want to travel to another planet (Batuu) and have to deal with COVID while I’m there. I’m leaving my current planet (and galaxy). I would hope that COVID hasn’t traveled that far.

The whole point of going to Galaxy’s Edge is to get lost in your own immersive Star Wars experience. The cast members are all characters, playing a role. I don’t want COVID to taint that experience. I don’t want to ride Smuggler’s Run with my mask on. I don’t want to get on Star Tours with a giant piece of glass between me and the rebel on board. I want to have a normal Disney experience, and I feel like it will be some time before that is possible. So, for now I will continue watching, reading and listening to all the things that take place in a galaxy far, far away.

* I call my first two visits to Batuu a day trip because we drove up early in the morning, spent part of the day in Epcot and the second part in Galaxy’s Edge, before driving all the way back home when the park closed.

** I do remember watching Star Trek: The Next Generation sometimes as a kid, and not really getting it. So, I guess I already thought Star Trek was kind of cool?

Congratulations!
If you stuck around unitl the very end, you now get to enjoy this…

I can’t wait to go back to a time where hugging Chewbacca is ok…

The World Needs More Jeff Goldblums

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Many people in this world are obsessed with Mr. Jeff Goldblum, with good reason. I’ve been a fan since Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park. I was later reminded in Thor: Ragnarok of how great Jeff Goldblum can be (he played the Grandmaster or Jeff Goldblum if he were, in fact, from space). It wasn’t until I watched an episode of The World According to Jeff Goldblum on Disney+ that I realized what a magical human being Jeff Goldblum truly is and how lucky the people of Earth are to have him.

In a time where everyone is so angry and there is so much hate going around, it’s nice to be able to watch the curious Jeff Goldblum embrace a brand new subject for the first time. At first, I was just excited to watch the episodes on topics that I actually cared for (like the first two episodes Sneakers and Ice Cream). However, after watching these two I realized that I could watch this guy learn and talk about anything in the world.

The next two episodes were Tattoos and Denim. Two things I didn’t know I cared about, until Jeff Goldblum was interested in them. The tattoo episode didn’t make me feel the need to get a tattoo, but it was still so interesting to watch. I don’t even think Jeff Goldblum has a tattoo. The denim episode just made me want a sweet new pair of jeans.  He just has a curious brain and is willing to learn about anything and that’s what makes this show so special.

Each episode begins with some well-known aspect of the episode’s topic. We also receive a short history lesson from the mouth of Mr. Jeff Goldblum alongside some beautifully designed graphics. By the end of each episode we have visited some obscure corner of the topic at hand and that’s always the best part (like BBQ-ed crickets or Amish RVs). No matter how strange it may seem Jeff Goldblum is always down to have a good time and learn something new.

Any human who’s ever had a conversation with the great Jeff Goldblum should consider themselves one of the lucky ones. The way he randomly breaks into improvised musical solos with his mouth or some wacky Jeff Goldblum sounds are some of the best parts of the show. His excitement and curiosity is an inspiration to us all. Imagine if instead of just shutting someone down for trying to talk to you about something they’re interested in, you just listened with an open mind instead (and if you didn’t like what you heard you could just tell them they are dumb afterwards). Wouldn’t that be nice?


With everything going on in the world right now, we definitely need more
Jeff Goldblums.

Be better to each other and maybe we can stop being so angry.

THE SECRET OREO AGREEMENT

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OREOs are known as “Milk’s favorite cookie,” but what, in fact, does that statement even mean? What does it prove? Nothing. Did all of the milks get together in one place and vote for their favorite cookie? Is this just the cow’s milk population or were all the new vegan and strange mylks (with a “y”) involved in this process? Should the cows have a say in this? There would be no milk without the cows, plus cows have brains and milk has no brains.

Of course, I know that the phrase “Milk’s favorite cookie” was coined by some “clever” copywriter from whatever agency worked for Nabisco at the time. I love OREOs, I’m just saying that their slogan is stupid. Milk doesn’t care what you put in it. Do you think milk has a preference for which cereal floats around in it? It doesn’t, but if it did, it would most likely be Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

CTC Milk

I don’t think that anyone was really bored of the Classic and Double Stuf OREOs, but it is exciting that they have tried so many new (some good and some not so good) flavors. I’ve always been happy with a Classic or Double Stuf OREO, but I started trying out their new flavors recently, just because they are usually on sale. 

During the quarantine alone, I’ve tried Tiramisu, Peanut Butter Pie, Toasted Marshmallow and a few others that I’ve enjoyed. I’ve seen the Cherry Cola and Peeps along with many flavors that I didn’t think were necessary. There’s only one thing that I haven’t seen from OREO, and it’s the most obvious combo of all — The Reverse OREO.

Sure, there’s the Golden OREO, which is just switching out the classic chocolate wafers for golden vanilla ones. We’ve also seen the classic chocolate wafers with chocolate creme. But why is it we haven’t seen Golden Vanilla cookies with Chocolate creme? I’ll tell you why (or at least why I think we haven’t seen it).

It’s those damn Keebler elves. The Keebler Elf mafia got together with the Nabisco (NAtional BIScuit COmpany) family for a secret meeting, in their tiny secret tree boardroom, many moons ago to make sure that consumers would never see the “Reverse OREO” on shelves anywhere. If there ever was, that would ruin the sales of My second favorite cookies The E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies (second favorite after OREOs, of course). Because an E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookie is just a “Reverse Oreo” in the shape of an elf with some witty writing on it’s backside.

el fudge cookies

I just hope this agreement expires soon so that I can see the “Reverse OREO” in my lifetime. There was a time where E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies came in reverse, with chocolate wafers and some OREO-type creme filling. The Keebler Elves could do that because they run the cookie world. They’re hidden away in their tiny tree offices where no one will ever find them.

Well, now this must end, because I have to go find myself some E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies and/or OREOs to eat. So, please enjoy this fun video of the OREO project I was a part of with some cool friends in my time at the Ad School.
(Thanks Justin, Matt and Wan)

 

*No actual research was done for this article. 

**If the “Reverse OREO” aka Golden OREOs with Chocolate Creme has ever existed for even a small point in time I have never seen them, and I won’t believe you unless you actually bring me some to eat.

A MILLION WRONG WAYS TO HIT A GOLF BALL

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Just as there is no wrong way to eat a Reese’s, there is no “right way” to hit a golf ball. This is something I’ve learned after years and years of hitting golf balls (notice I did not say “years and years of playing golf,” because most of my time golfing is spent on the shooting range, hitting balls and doing some chippy-putty afterwards).

In all these years of golf club swinging, I’ve figured out that there is no one “correct way” to hit a golf ball, but there are definitely millions of things that you can be and are doing wrong. I know this because every person who has ever tried to “improve my golf swing” with some hot tip or quick lesson has told me something different that I am doing wrong (and there’s a whole lotta wrong with my golf swing).

My golf career started back in high school. At first I would go to the shooting range with my golfer buddy and hit balls with his clubs. One day, my other “golf buddy” was getting new golf clubs the next day and offered to give me his old clubs. I offered him all of the money in my wallet at the time (which was ten dollars) and my fake Rolex (which I happened to be wearing at the time). I’m sure it stopped working very soon after. It was a great deal (for me).

To this day, these are still my current golf clubs. I did pick up some others along the way, which were also given to me. I added a putter and some woods to my collection, but never a driver. I picked up a sweet golf bag of holding, as well.

Golf lessons are a bigger sham than the McDonald’s Monopoly game back in the 1900’s. If you took a one hour golf lesson with five different people, I’m sure you’d have five totally different critiques on your golf game. Swinging a golf club is like jazz music, it’s not about the things you’re doing right, it’s about all the things you’re not doing at all (that may not make any sense, but maybe it does to a few people who like jazz music).

I think golf can probably be a relaxing activity, if you know what you’re doing (but I would never call golf a sport). Most people drive around in a little cart instead of doing the one part that can be considered a sport — walking. Pros have a bag boy who carries their stuff and tells them exactly what to do. Fans are told to be quiet (in a basketball game, I’m allowed to scream as someone tries to make a free throw, but in golf I can’t make any sound while someone is swinging their club?) There’s a fancy dress code. Sports don’t have fancy dress codes.

There is so much to think about when swinging any golf club, but once you’re actually playing nine or eighteen holes, you need to drop all the thinking and be able to rely on your muscle memory. I haven’t learned how to do that yet, so I will continue to whack balls at the shooting range and play chippy-putty afterwards.

2019 was a Good Year

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2019 was a good year. I visited Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge twice, and once more at the beginning of this year. I saw some cool movies (Knives Out, Frozen 2, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker). Disney+ came out, giving me access to so many old and new Disney movies, series and tons of other stuff. I was a part of many, many improv shows every weekend. I even got my first money for acting in a “talk show” ($5 cash. Thanks, Elaine!).

With Wednesday rehearsals and shows most Thursdays through Saturdays I had many late nights. This has affected my eating habits. I shifted breakfast from the early morning (8 or 9 am) to sometime between 10 am and noon. Lunch moved to sometime between 2 and 4 pm. With a snack thrown in the mix on running and work out days, ending the day with a very late dinner (11 pm or later). 

With this shifting schedule and trying to be on-time to rehearsals and shows I discovered a new faster technique to have a snack… 

…It all started with one banana

One day, I was running a bit late for rehearsal, since I was feeling particularly lazy that day I didn’t go for a run until almost 6 pm (I’ll normally run closer to 5 pm to give me enough time). I got back and had to take a lightning quick shower, but I needed some sort of fuel to make sure I wouldn’t pass out. I grabbed a banana and ate it in the shower, taking out two tasks with one banana.


I’ve also learned that car bananas are fun, because you get to throw the peel out the window and live in the world of Mario Kart for a few seconds. I don’t think it’s bad for the environment. Someone will eat it, right?

This started my 2019 trend. What else can I eat in the shower? Here are some other things I ate in the shower last year: Microwaveable Protein Muffin, Energy Bars (Rx, Lara, Clif) and Cold Brew. I’m sure there are other things that I can’t think of (like Dum Dums). But these were all the successful shower snacks I can think of.

This whole thing really started in college, but instead of eating in the shower I would sometimes have a drink in the shower, while getting ready to go out. Shower beers are always good (Have you ever had a beer in a pool, while laying on a float? It feels like your life is a Corona commercial). Also, a shower Cider. Anything cold really. A hot tea in the shower may not be as relaxing, but an iced coffee works, too.

I’ve also thought of some things I would never want to eat in the shower: oatmeal, hot soup, salad, a sandwich, yogurt (unless it’s Go-Gurt, but who eats Go-Gurt anymore?)… 

What other new things can I try in the shower in 2020? What’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten in the shower, or in another strange place? Comment below.

 

What other new lessons will I learn in 2020? Tune in to find out…

YOU LOOK GREAT!

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I recently learned that anytime someone tells me I look like I’ve lost weight, or any compliments about my body, I end up using that information as a reason to eat whatever I want. This usually happens when I’m dressed nice for a wedding or a fancy event. I think fancy clothes makes me look better than I normally look, but I will stick to my normal clothes because I will always choose comfort over fashion (if it’s cold enough I will wear my fancy sweatpants to your fancy party).

I received multiple compliments on looking “skinnier” in 2019 (before the holidays), although I’m pretty sure I was stuck at around the same weight for most of the year. I haven’t been eating lots of fast food lately, but I also haven’t been eating that much “healthy” food either. I’ve struck a balance of good and bad food choices and enough exercise to stay at my current weight.

Of course, when a few people told me I looked good at a wedding, I decided to visit Burger King on my way home. There was pizza, garlic rolls, pasta, cake and a full-service ice cream bar at the wedding (which I totally ate), however I still found the need to get some BK, way later in the evening. I did eat all of those things pretty early, and by the time I went to BK it was already tomorrow (past midnight). I’m pretty sure I had only eaten two meals that day before BK — (1) a late breakfast and (2) the pizza, ice cream bar and all of those other goodies. So, I still kept it to the traditional three meals in a day.

The last few times I ate fast food, I was “forced” to by outside circumstances: (1) I went to a late movie and the concessions were closed when I got there, cancelling my popcorn and Buncha Crunch dinner. This left me starving when I got out of the movie, which led to a stop at Wendy’s. (2) We drove to Disney for Food & Wine and Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge for one day, after about 8 hours of driving and 10 hours of food, wine and traveling the world (plus, going off-planet) I had to stop for some Taco Bell on my way home. (3) At that wedding where three to four people (who hadn’t seen me in a while, so maybe they forgot what I looked like) told me I looked like I had lost weight, so I stopped at Burger King on my way home.

Maybe it’s a self-sabotage thing, or maybe my brain doesn’t enjoy compliments. I’m not really sure what it is, but for 2020 I’m going to try to make better choices when it comes to food late at night. Instead of eating fried chicken or pizza at midnight, I can try a soup instead, maybe even a salad (No one has ever chosen to eat a salad past midnight, and I don’t think I will be the first person to). 

I can’t make the right choice every time of course, because once it’s that late and you haven’t eaten dinner, the only thing you want to eat is the most unhealthy thing you can find on the menu. Tacos are an acceptable late night food choice, you get your veggies and meats and sometimes some cheese, too. Breakfast food late at night is also a good choice, that way you can skip breakfast in the morning since you had it before bed.

So, please stop telling me I look like I’ve lost weight or it will be your fault when I end up in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell later on that night.

NO COMMERCIAL BREAKS

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A few months ago, I began watching SUPERSTORE on Hulu. I had heard it was a fun, goofy show, and I’m a fan of “Jonah” (who plays the lawyer on Silicon Valley). I also liked that there were already four seasons to watch, so I knew it would take me some time to get through it all.

I’m not a binger of shows. I don’t enjoy watching a whole butt-load of episodes of one show in a single weekend, unless I have already seen the entire series and it’s playing in the background while I’m cooking or doing other stuff. I like to treat my shows like a fine Merlot. I take in one episode at a time, maybe two or three in a full day, at most. I let shows breath so that entire seasons don’t become one mega episode of mush in my brain.

Superstore has so much, “REAL” product placement in it, that it should not have commercial breaks. As someone who isn’t a fan of forced product placement in movies and TV shows (like Michael Bay’s 2-hour Transformers Car Commercials, AKA the ones after Shia Lebeouf), SUPERSTORE does a great job with having all the products on the shelves, but not in your face.

SUPERSTORE takes place inside of a Walmart clone, called Cloud 9. Cloud 9 carries only real products that you would find in Walmart and Target and other real-life superstores. Most times when you see a product on a TV series, it’s usually a fake brand they created just for the show, so they don’t have to deal with the companies who make these products.

I’ve only watched SUPERSTORE on Hulu, so I’m not sure if it actually has commercial breaks when episodes play on prime time (if it doesn’t leave a comment below and let me know). If a soccer game can get away with not having commercial breaks just because each player is a walking ad for the team sponsor, then SUPERSTORE should definitely not have commercials.

Perhaps SUPERSTORE can do what pod casters do and create their own ads within the show, where they get to say whatever they want. Sort of like how pod casters just say whatever they want when creating ads for strange internet brands, like MeUndies, Blue Apron and Third Love. 

SUPERSTORE is showing off so many products that we all know and already buy. While watching episodes I sometimes add things to my grocery list (this makes the show not only entertaining but also convenient). Usually, this would annoy me, but since they never really talk about the products or have the camera zoom in on certain ones it doesn’t bother me. It just makes the world seem more realistic.

On the show I’ve seen everything from La Croix, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Doritos to Reed’s Ginger Beer and Squatty Potties. I hope all of these brands are paying SUPERSTORE to carry their products on the shelves of Cloud 9, and that is how SUPERSTORE will stay on TV forever, taking money from all of these rich companies to create entertainment as I slowly watch it on my friend’s Hulu account until the end of time.

Cuban Coffee is Sh*t

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I learned to drink coffee the way most kids in Miami learned to drink coffee. Back in middle school, my introduction to coffee was Cuban Coffee. Cortaditos, Cafe con leche, Coladas. Cuban Coffee was a good gateway into the coffee world for a youngster, but it definitely was not “good coffee.”

I’m sure many people will be upset at me for saying that Cuban Coffee is not good coffee.

Why do people love Cuban Coffee so much? It’s mostly the added sugar and/or milk that makes it taste good. The coffee itself just taste like low-quality coffee. It has no distinct flavors. If you can’t drink it straight up (black), then it’s probably not a good coffee. And no one really drinks Cuban Coffee straight up (they add tons of sugar to it).

Cuban Coffee is no better than Starbucks (although their newer Blonde Roast is fine, on its own). No one is actually going to Starbucks for the coffee, though. People go to Starbucks for all the sugar, chocolate, caramel and other delicious junk they stuff into their “coffee drinks”. Black coffee at Starbucks tastes burnt. I once used their beans for a cold brew and it ended up tasting like what burnt tires smell like.

Starbucks may get their coffee beans from exotic farmers across the world, but they are given the snicklefritz (aka the garbage pile, aka the crappy leftovers). I’m sure there are good Cuban Coffee beans out there, somewhere. But, all of the Cuban restaurants and bakeries are using the snicklefritz, as well (Pilon, Bustelo, Sergio’s Coffee).

I don’t think I’m better than Starbucks or Cuban Coffee. I enjoy the occasional sugary coffee drink and S’mores frappuccino. I’ll dip my tostada in a Cafe con Leche. I’ll even have some Colada sometimes after lunch. These things all taste good, I’m just saying that the coffee beans themselves are garbage beans. Most people haven’t tried good coffee, they’ve just enjoyed crappy coffee their whole lives.

It’s like when you try a real fruit after only having the canned version in syrup before that. Which is something that happened to me with lychee fruit the other day. And I said to myself, Wow, I didn’t know the real thing could taste so good.

Just like with beer, I guess I’ve become a coffee snob. I would much rather drink one or two beers that I enjoy over ‘TeLeven’ cans (that’s the number between ten and eleven) of dirty beer water. I’m trying to only drink one to maybe two coffee drinks per day. So, I’m keeping it to good quality coffee. I get beans from Panther, Intelligentsia and other fancy roasters. Sometimes, I just check what Fresh Market has on sale and if it’s not very good I end up cold brewing it. There’s also something fun about making a pour over in the morning. It feels like a science experiment that I get to enjoy with my mouth.

Every once in a while, I do need a sugary frappuccino or some cafe con leche. And that’s why I’m happy to live in the capital of coladas and croquetas.

FREE Taco Bell (& Fast Food Etiquette)

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Last week, I learned the best place to eat drive-thru fast food late at night… the parking lot of the fast food restaurant you just visited.

What happens almost every time you go to a drive-thru late at night? There’s always something missing, because the late night workers don’t really care, because they know that you don’t care. You’re just trying to pick up some quick food to take home and eat while watch your Netflix show before passing out for the night.

Last week, I went to Taco Bell (with a friend, who will remain nameless, as requested). We ordered a bunch of stuff, because that’s what you do at Taco Bell. Also, that menu is so overwhelmingly gigantic (It’s like they add new items each week just to confuse us. Most items on the Taco Bell menu are made up words, and you don’t want to ask too many questions and look like a dummy. So, instead you just order everything). I try to keep it to
3-5 items when I do drive-thru by myself, because if I don’t give myself limits I will just keep ordering more and more stuff until there is nothing left to order.

What happened this past visit was we ordered our tacos, burritos and other stuff too, but we also wanted something sweet, so we ordered some Cinna Twists. As you know, Taco Bell is best when eaten fresh* (The word “fresh” doesn’t really mean anything in food lingo anymore. Fast Food companies have been using “fresh” to describe ingredients that are not “fresh” in any way. By “fresh” I mean eaten right away, because if you wait too long Taco Bell food transforms into something completely different).

*Remember back when Taco Bell had that problematic Mexican Chihuahua dog as their mascot? That was a fun time…

So, there we were in the car making our way through our bag of “fresh” goodness, and all of a sudden we finally reached the bottom and realized that there were no Cinna Twists. Lucky for us, we were eating our Taco Bell in the parking lot of Taco Bell, so we just hopped back in line to get our Cinna Twists. (Usually when you realize something is missing in your order you are already home with no pants and your shoes off. There’s no way you’re going back to Taco Bell once you’ve arrived in the NO PANTS ZONE, which is most likely on a couch in front of the TV).

Because we had the patience (and bravery) to get back in that long line of hungry hippos, we were rewarded greatly. When asked what we wanted, we told the lady that we didn’t receive our Cinna Twists, she just said, “Drive around,” which I thought was code for, “I don’t believe you,” or “I don’t know what you’re saying.”

When we arrived at the pick up window, the lady was smiling and she handed us a big Taco Bell bag, the kind that holds a whole family meal, and inside were about five to six orders of Cinna Twists. We said thank you and left before she could take it back from us.

What this whole experience taught me is that if you are brave enough to go through a drive-thru line twice, and say you’re missing something, you can probably get anything you want for FREE. The lady never checked our receipt or order, she just believed us (it was the truth, but I’m sure people lie all the time about not getting stuff). I’m sure you can even drive-thru on your first try and say that you didn’t get your Quesarito and be handed a bag full of Quesaritos. These drive-thru people get a whole butt-load of customers each and every night, and they can’t remember all of us.

I don’t think I will start stealing from fast food drive-thrus late at night, but now I know that if they ever mess up my order, I could just go back and tell them something is missing. Or, even better yet, I can check my bag when they hand it to me, even though it’s going the hold up the line for a few extra seconds. That’s probably what a normal person would do.