When to Change your Oil in a Pandemic?

Anytime I’ve asked a mechanic, “How often should I change my oil?” The answer has always been every 5,000 to 7,000 miles — depending on what oil I’m using. I never really pay attention to the second part of their advice, “…or every three to six months.”

I’ve never had to listen to that part. I’ve always reached the mile goal before the time limit. Also, I always give it a few extra hundred or thousand miles — just to be safe. Even though the oil change recommendation sticker usually says “See you at [some number] miles OR [this date].” I’ve always taken it as, “See you at [some number] miles AND [this date].” Plus, some extra on both.

During the pandemic this whole oil sticker thing became a mess. While the time limit was way past due, I wasn’t even halfway to my mile goal. It didn’t make sense to me. How often do you change your oil when you’re not putting any miles on your car? Never…

I did eventually get my oil changed — possibly too late, as always. My car also has a meter that tells me my oil life in percentage. I don’t know how it works so I don’t truly trust it. I don’t think it’s actually testing my oil by reading any specific levels or anything like that. I believe it’s just a slow countdown in percentage.

The oil life meter is now at 30%-ish, so I guess it’s time for another oil change — soon.

If this helped at least one person realize that they need to get an oil change because they forgot that oil changes were a thing in this crazy year, then I have done my job.

Thank you and good night.

Elevators = Our Enemies

Here’s a random thought that’s been in my head for quite some time: Are elevators slowly killing us? Ok, maybe that’s a bit harsh. Perhaps, Are elevators messing up our bodies? (especially our knees) is a better question.

I’ve heard plenty of personal trainers and life coaches on morning shows (like the Today Show) say things like, “Health Tip! Don’t ride the elevator, take the stairs.” or “Use the opposite escalator and turn your trip into a StairMaster session.” Ok, no one has probably said that second one, but although it’s a bit dangerous, I still think it’s a good idea.

It’s not the elevator vs the stairs that I think is the problem. The main reason why I think elevators are slowly killing us (or ruining our bodies) is the intense braking. Think about any time you’ve ridden an elevator and it comes to a halt to open the doors, don’t you feel that in your knees? Especially when in a tall building.

Now in my 30s, I have many friends with “knee problems,” and I have them too. I’ve heard people say things like, “Oh, I used to play sports in high school.” Sports in high school, really? That was four years of your life — and you probably weren’t an elite athlete. How long have you been riding in elevators? Oh, and you continue to ride them today? I think we’ve found our problem, Mr. (or Mrs.) ex-high school athlete.

How many elevators do you take each day? Do you live in an apartment and ride an elevator every time you leave or come back home? Do you work in a building? Maybe it’s a skyscraper and the elevator travels 80 floors in the matter of a few seconds. Do you know how fast it’s moving? I don’t, but maybe we should google that. Those are some intense brakes for the elevator to be able to quickly stop at any given floor.

So, if you live in an apartment building and work in a different building and go out to eat lunch in another building and do even more building things each day imagine your daily elevator rides (DERs). (1) You ride down to leave your house, (2) You ride up to your office, (3) it’s lunch time and you want to leave, you go back down, (4) you go to a Nordstrom cafe, it’s upstairs, but you take the elevator, (5) you leave Nordstrom, (6) back up to your office, (7) the bathroom on your floor is broken, ride down one floor, (8) ride back up, (9) time to go home, (10) back up to your apartment, (11 & 12) take out the dog, and bring him back up.

And that’s just in one day. Twelve elevator rides later I’m sure there’s something wrong with your knees, maybe even with your inside parts from all the movement (I guess I would feel the same about planes, if I were someone who traveled by plane weekly). Who knows? I’m no scientist, but elevators are definitely going to be the downfall of humankind.

So, how can we fix this problem? I have the perfect solution. Remember when you were a kid and you would jump in the air when the elevator was braking to reach maximum air? (If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you must have been a nerd or a narc). But if we all start doing that again then we’ll be fine — also, it may even help humanity evolve so that one day we’ll all jump as high as MJ, from birth.

Weight Gain Ferd-Thousand (Pandemic Edition)

When the Coronavirus pandemic first began we were all forced to stay in our homes. Throughout year one everyone was talking about being lazy and gaining weight from all the snacking. I remember hearing Emily V Gordon say, “When we get out of this we’re all gonna be a little fatter,” on her and Kumail Nanjiani’s pandemic podcast, Staying In with Emily & Kuamil.

In the beginning of the lockdown I was still eating whatever I wanted, but due to no improv shows I didn’t have to eat dinner at midnight or one in the morning any longer. Before this all started I had a very strange eating schedule from Wednesday to Saturday, where I wouldn’t eat a full dinner before rehearsal or shows and instead would wait until I was done for the night. Also, the only food available after 11 pm or later is usually not very healthy.

At that time, with all of the late night eats I was still able to stay at a consistent weight of about 210-215. I was doing enough activity that it was fine for me to be eating so late at night. Probably not on the inside, but I looked fine on the outside.

So, when the lockdown started I was no longer eating my late night snacks/full meals (plus a late night beer or two). I was on a more regular eating schedule. I started to lose weight. Also, I was working out a lot more: running, boxing, swimming weights and anything I could do on my own outdoors or in the backyard.

Around the summertime I started eating a little more healthy, but kept working out like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Maybe not as hard as Dwyane, maybe like 25% of what he does, but that’s still a lot for a regular human. I even started losing weight.

When I saw the number on the scale going down slowly I thought of a new plan. I thought this is going to be funny, when we get back to shows in “a few months” — it’s now been over a year — everyone will be talking about how they gained weight and I’ll be that one dude that looks better than before. I wanted to be like people on sitcoms that come back in a later season looking thinner, stronger and younger than they ever have.

This plan was working. I made it down to under 200 lbs for the first time since I lived in Orlando, back in 2014-2015. I was dropping weight quickly and getting stronger with mostly boxing, running and some light weight training.

Let’s take a short break to check out my
Pandemic Workout Selfie Album:

But then something happened — the holidays. The pandemic was taking way too long to clear up. It’s still clearing up. I started working on side projects (blogs/sites) that took away from my workout time. I grew bored of working out so much, and I started eating more and more [Oreos and junk].

At some point during the pandemic I decided it was totally fine to eat cookies, chocolate, ice cream and desserts with breakfast. Sometimes I would eat these before breakfast. I’d eat them while cooking breakfast. And I’m still doing that.

My weight started to climb, because let’s face it — It’s much easier to gain weight than to lose weight. I bet Chris Hemsworth (aka Thor) has to lose weight for many roles, but it must have been a fun time to gain weight for Avengers: Endgame (even though that’s probably a fat suit). Christian Bale has done both for roles and I bet gaining weight (American Hustle) was a much better time than losing weight (the Machinist).

In the beginning of 2021 I reached my highest weight in years, possibly ever. This sucked after reaching my lowest weight just a few months earlier (mid to late 2020).

Since learning about this massive weight gain I started working out again. I’m not at 25% Rock output yet, but I hope to get back there soon (maybe higher than that). I’ve tried a few things to get me to stop eating so much cookies and chocolate and sugar, but it’s hard during a 1+ year long pandemic.

I still haven’t seen most of the world yet, so there’s still a chance of me getting back to where I was when this whole thing began. I guess that’s my goal for now. Get to where I started — around 210-215. After that I’ll go for under 200 once again.

It’s not as funny to hear people say, “Wow, you look the same” as it would have been to have them say, “How did you look even better than you did in March 2020?”

I definitely need to go down in weight before the late night eating returns. Perhaps I can change that habit too. I can just get rid of the late night eating altogether. Either way, I’m going back down and I’m going to keep working out, before I see you all in 2021 — or 2022.

Apples in Review: Vol 2 – Granny Smith

It’s time once again for more Apples in Review. For the past few months, I’ve been tasting a new apple each week. I’m trying to get ahead for when I run out of apple varieties at The Fresh Market and am forced to visit actual farms or farmer’s markets. We’re now on to our second variety of Apple — the Green Granny Smith apple.

Green Granny Smith Apple just before taste test.

While the Red Delicious is the most famous apple, the Granny Smith Apple (aka Green Apple) is also a top-tier apple. Known for its sour taste, this variety is heavily featured in both the candy and adult beverage world. 

We’ve even seen Green Apple replace Lime Skittles. In the “original” bag of Skittles — if Green Apple replaced Lime just a few short years ago, does that make it still the “original” flavors? I don’t think so! Lime was always my favorite Skittles flavor. Did their license agreement with Limes end abruptly? #BringBackLimeSkittles! Come on, Marshawn!

“Original” Skittles flavors (although we all know that green used to be, and was better as, Lime)

Granny Smith apples are best known for their sour flavor. Although the sour flavor isn’t my favorite — eating too much gives you sticky Skittles/Starburst spit — I appreciate that they exist. If you eat a Red Delicious apple and a Granny Smith back to back, it’s kind of crazy to taste the difference between those two varieties alone. But who’s going to eat two different apples back to back? A Psychopath.

I was told (in a book, on a podcast and probably somewhere else) that Green Apples are great for heavy voice work (on-stage acting, voice over, singing). There’s some chemical in them, and only them, that clears your voice and throat. Or in gross terms — the Malic Acid within the Green Apple will clear mucus and the throat. Adding honey to ginger & lemon tea usually works for the throat, but just one bite of a green apple can do wonders.

Due to the sourness of the Green Apple it goes great with some smooth peanut butter (because crunchy Peanut Butter is for Ding Dongs). If you have a peanut allergy, which is common today, please don’t try this combo at home (or anywhere for that matter). 

Sour Apple face.

I find the Green Apple to be too sour at times and the skin to be tougher than most apples. I’m not a fan of a thick/strong skin on my apples. Now that I’m trying the whole apple and not just the inside parts, I much prefer a skin that blends in with the flavor, taste and texture of the rest of the apple.

My current Apple Ranking:
1. Red Delicious
2. Granny Smith

-based on flavors tried and written about so far

A Short History of Green Apples (according the the internet)

The Granny Smith Apple comes from Australia and was introduced to the market back in 1868. I had no idea that apples came from Australia, but I guess it makes sense for this backwards ass sour apple to come from upside-down Australia. It’s not sweet like other apples, instead it’s sour.

The name Granny Smith comes from it’s cultivator, Maria Ann Smith. Maria created this apple and was someone’s granny. The sour/tart flavors and crunch make this variety of apple good for everything from salads to pies and everything in between (candy and alcoholic drinks).

Once again I got this image from bestapples.com

While the Green Apple is not my favorite apple, it’s still a nice sour treat. I would enjoy it much more with some outside help — Nutella, dulce de leech, peanut butter. Let’s face it, I think every apple can be enhanced with “outside help.”

Easily Influenced

Something I recently learned is that I’m very easily influenced into buying, trying and watching new things. I would have a horrible time if I ever got sucked into that Scientology building on US 1 (or any Scientology building for that matter). Cults would love me and my easily moldable brain.

Anytime I listen to a podcast with a guest promoting their latest work (movies, tv, books) I come away thinking I gotta check that out. I bought John Cleese’s and Seth Rogen’s newest books after hearing them on Conan’s podcast (both books were great). I wanted to watch all of John Leguizamo’s latest movies and his one man show after he was on the ID10T podcast.

The strangest one was not too long ago when Justin Roiland (co-creator of Rick & Morty) was on the Kinda Funny podcast. He talked about being a fidgety person, but he never wanted a fidget spinner because those are stupid. He got into Rubik’s Cubes instead — and not the ones we all had as kids. Justin became obsessed with the GAN speed cubes. Those are the ones the little genius kids use in those Rubik’s Cube solving speed competitions.

I now have three different types of GAN speed Rubik’s Cubes in my Amazon cart. I don’t think I’ll end up buying any of them but they are there — waiting. I also spent some time learning some info about them and watching speed cube videos on YouTube. There’s even a Speed Cubers documentary on Netflix (it’s now on “My List”).

I attribute these problems of mine to being a generally curious person. Anytime I hear about a new documentary, movie, album, video game or pretty much any piece of entertainment I go to the internet to learn more. Whenever I’m watching anything and see or hear a familiar face or voice, I must go to IMDB.com to find out who this person is and what else they’re in.

Recently I wrote a post for my other blog/site (myVGBC.com) where the same sort of thing happens with me in movies and games anytime a new entry into an existing series is released. For instance, the new Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart is coming out in less than a month, and that made me start to replay Ratchet & Clank (2016) once again, even though I first played it just last year.

Anytime a new Marvel movie is announced I have to watch the movies that came before (or at least the ones that deal with those characters). If it’s a new hero, then I’ll just watch a random Marvel movie to raise my hype levels.

Maybe I’m just like a little kid. Whenever my nephew sees a commercial for a toy, no matter how stupid it is. He says, “Nono, I want that.” And I just say, “Ok, do you have any money?” And by that time another commercial has finished and he says, “Nono, I want THAT.”

Smoking on Planes

There was a time when people were allowed to smoke cigarettes on airplanes — and they actually did it! Like all of the time. I think about this every few months and it still freaks me out.

I was on a plane a few years back (pre-COVID, but still not too long ago) and the arm rests still had ash trays built into them. They just happened to be glued shut.

A SHORT (BRIEFLY RESEARCHED) HISTORY LESSON

In the year 1990 smoking on aircrafts (to and from the US) was mostly prohibited. Pilots were still allowed to smoke in the cockpit. It wasn’t until Bill Clinton signed the Aviation Investment and Reform Act in the year 2000 that smoking on planes was completely banned. Some countries kept smoking on planes around until 2016 or later.

LINK TO HISTORY

Imagine being on a plane today and witnessing another passenger pull out a lighter or match and lighting up a cigarette. That person would be tackled so fast just for pulling that thing out, and rightfully so. Planes are smelly enough as is, they don’t need the help of someone smoking a cigarette.

“SMOKING OR NON-SMOKING?”

There was also a time, not too long ago when you’d be asked this simple question at a restaurant, “Smoking or Non-Smoking?” Meaning, do you want to sit in the clean part or the nasty part of this fine establishment? And on a busy night with no reservation the “Smoking” section was where you’d end up.

When I was in college people would smoke cigarettes in bars. Today, I can wear the same pair of jeans for weeks visiting different bars and restaurants. Back then, if I wore my jeans to a smokey bar they’d be in the hamper that night and washed the next day. Plus, I’d have to shower before going to bed.

Hotels used to have “Smoking and Non-Smoking” rooms, and I’m pretty sure many of them still do. Some unknowingly, “Would you like to stay in a room that smells like we cleaned it or one that smells like we didn’t even have enough time to change the sheets?”

Thanks to my grandmother I’ve never been a fan of cigarettes. I’ve never tried one and I plan to never try one. I loved my grandma, but I hated the smell of her smoking in our house when she would come over. Luckily, she stopped smoking early on in my life.

Whenever I find someone who still smokes cigarettes it’s like I’m meeting a strange time traveler. Of course, everyone switched over to e-cigs and vapes by now. Years later, we’ll find out that everyone is getting some sort of computer virus in their bodies thanks to all the e-smoking.

Apples in Review: Vol 1 – Red Delicious

A few weeks ago I made a post about all of the different kinds of apples that exist. While writing that post I decided that I would attempt to try all of the different varieties of apples that I could find. I was going to start posting my short reviews of each apple on the @ferdislearnings Twitter profile, but after trying a few different types of apples I’ve decided to instead make a weekly (or bi-weekly) post featuring a different apple each post.

It’s been a few weeks and I have now tried a few different apples. I wanted to get a bit ahead of myself.

Of course, I’m starting off with the original apple — The Red Delicious. The forbidden fruit that Adam & Eve ate back in the garden. I’m guessing it was a Red Delicious apple because I bet they didn’t have all of these varieties of apples yet. If Adam and Eve were the first man and woman then there was no one around yet to create these new kinds of apples and the Red Delicious had to be the only one around, right???

Let me start off by saying that I don’t normally eat the skin of an apple. My normal apple eating ritual consists of cutting an apple into slices and just eating the inside parts and tossing the skin in the trash (where it belongs). There is also usually some Nutella, dulce de leche or peanut butter involved.

For the purpose of this apple eating experiment I decided to bite straight into these apples, skin and all. I’m not using any flavor enhancers either (nutella, dulce de leche, peanut butter…). I’m reviewing not only the taste of the inside of the apple, but also the skin.

Red Delicious Apples ($1.79/lb) at the Fresh Market

Now it’s time for Apples in Review: Vol 1 – Red Delicious

The Red Delicious Apple just tastes like an apple to me. It tastes like a regular, plain ass apple. If a candy or beverage said “Apple-flavored” on the label, this is what I’d expect to taste.

If you pick a nice one you’ll notice a beautiful, shiny red coat of skin. I’m guessing that’s why they call it the Red Delicious — it’s shiny, red coat makes it look like a delicious treat for you to eat.

I started my journey with the most basic version of an apple so that I can hopefully notice the differences when I venture out into other varieties.

The red delicious apple is refreshing. After biting into this one the inside quickly started to turn brown and loose moisture. Apples tend to do this, but this felt much faster than I’d expect. Since eating this apple I have noticed that some apples have a extremely high moisture content and this wasn’t one of those.

When biting into the Red Delicious I thought, “Yeah, that tastes like an apple to me.” This is why I look forward to trying other varieties and seeing what differences I can taste.

I don’t expect to taste wild notes of chocolate with hints of mild cherry like in coffee, but I do plan to notice subtle differences in sweetness and sour levels, moisture and other apple identifiers. I’d say the Red Delicious is our middle of the road apple. It’s got a mild flavor for those who crave a simple, plain ass apple.

image from the Washington Apple Commission (bestapples.com)

Croqueta Roulette

Something I never really thought about but I do almost anytime I go to Publix in the middle of the day when I haven’t had lunch yet and I’m too hungry to wait until I get home — I always buy some croquetas from the Publix bakery.

SIDE NOTE: For you gringos a croqueta is a fried breaded cylinder usually containing ham inside and some other stuff too. I’ve heard someone call it a fritter before. They can also be filled with chicken, fish, cheese, chorizo, mac & cheese and all sorts of crazy stuff. I would call it the Cuban cousin to the Italian Mozzarella stick.

I’ve always been a ham croqueta person. Ham is the original. If you order a croqueta anywhere you will 99% of the time be given a ham croqueta, no questions asked. If the establishment you are at has chicken, fish, cheese or other types of croquetas they will either ask you, “What type of croqueta?” or you will have to specify, “I want a croqueta de pollo.” (Spanish for chicken croqueta).

What I do at Publix bakery to make my mid-day snack into a fun game is I usually order a few original croquetas (aka HAM) and one of either chicken or cheese (sometimes one of each). They all get thrown into the same bag and since all croquetas look about the same from the outside, it’s a fun guessing game.

The Publix bakery person usually tries to separate them with some fancy bakery paper, but that doesn’t really work because they are getting tossed around all over the bag. Also, I’m going to eat these while driving so I will not look in the bag to see how they are separated.

So, once I leave Publix and I’m driving home or to my next destination I get to play a little game I call CROQUETA ROULETTE. I stick my hand in the bag and grab one at a time. Next, I take a bite not really thinking about what’s going to be inside and I’m surprised each time.

Here’s my croqueta bag from yesterday’s game.

Yesterday I ate the cheese one first. I had ordered three ham and one cheese, so the game ended on that first bite. It was still was and always is a delicious game to play.

So, the next time you find yourself at Publix (if you’re in Florida) order some croquetas (if you’re in South Florida), and play a round of CROQUETA ROULETTE (if you’re in the car). 

You won’t regret it. If you’re not in Florida, find some kind of dumpling place that will let you order single dumplings and try DUMPLING ROULETTE. Maybe a FILLED DONUT ROULETTE. There are many ways to play this game.

Customer Service

Back in college I took a class on hospitality and customer service for some reason. In this class we read the book Raving Fans by Sheldon Bowles and Ken Blanchard. The book’s message was telling companies/brands to have great customer service so that they have “raving fans” rather than customers.

Let me start off by saying that I am not a bamboozler. I do not lie to get free stuff. The stories below are completely true and this is a teaching moment for you — my fans. Only use this method of reaching out to brands/companies if you had a less than wonderful experience.

Customer Experiences

Have you ever had a bad experience with a product or service? Maybe a slightly inconvenient experience? We all have and I’m here to tell you that as long as it’s a small accident you don’t have to go public with it. Don’t be like Topanga’s husband who tried to say there were shrimp tails in his cereal when they were probably just funny shaped sugar strips (I actually didn’t keep up with this story so I have no idea what they ended up being).

Most companies today have a Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and possibly multiple social media profiles. They’re mostly run by ad agency interns. This is why when something goes wrong I find a company’s Twitter profile and send them a DM (Direct Message). It’s also good to send a picture, when possible.

This is the story of three different customer experiences I had with three different brands — one bad, one slightly inconvenient and one that I’m not even sure affected me in any sort of way. It’s also a story of redemption and how these three companies stepped up and admitted they were wrong and made it up to me.

THE BAD: FRESH STEAKS

I shop at The Fresh Market weekly and I have stated this before in other posts. Earlier this month I bought two steaks (Filet Mignon) to make for dinner for my girlfriend and myself. It was Easter weekend, I purchased them on Friday and by Sunday they had transformed into rotten, ugly zombie meat. I had to toss them.

I’m not really sure how long Steak should keep in the fridge, I usually freeze them if I’m not cooking and eating them within one or two days. I would guess two to three days would be the max.

My next visit to the Fresh Market I asked someone in the meat department how long a Filet Mignon should last in the fridge, they told me a whole week — 7 days! I thought that was a crazy thing to say, but instead I just said, “Sure, ok.” and nodded my head.

I didn’t want to be a Karen and talk to the manager of the store, although I have met him and he’s a nice dude. Instead I went to Twitter and DM-ed the Fresh Market directly.

I also mentioned that I was told that a steak would keep fresh in the fridge for up to one week. They immediately made things right and sent me a $25 gift card. The two steaks were probably somewhere between $10 and $20, so I think this was a good job by them.

Thank you Karla!

At no point was I going to stop going to Fresh Market, it’s still my favorite grocery store. And even after having this and a few other small problems from time to time, they have always been great about making it up to me.

THE SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENT: WHERE’S MY BOLOGNA, OSCAR?

The second experience was with a classic Lunchables meal (Bologna and Cheese). I do eat more Lunchables than someone in their 30s should eat, but Lunchables are always a quick, easy and delicious meal.

There I was enjoying my Lunchables cracker sandwiches. Yes, I double up and instead of making six one layer cracker stackers I make three sandwiches instead with two of each item.

Cracker + Meat + Cheese + Meat + Cheese + Cracker.

I was on my last cracker sandwich when I realized that there had only been five slices of Bologna this whole time instead of the usual six. My last cracker sandwich was a disappointment.

Cracker + Cheese + Meat + Cheese + Cracker.

Yes, it was still good but I wasn’t satisfied ending my lunch(able) on an incomplete sandwich. I went to Twitter.

I mentioned a FREE Nintendo Switch there because until December of 2020 Lunchables was holding a free Nintendo Switch contest which I entered multiple times. This is the reason why I’ve eaten so many Lunchables recently. Also, I probably would have eaten the same amount of Lunchables without a contest.

No Nintendo Switch… but a nice letter and $3 coupon.

Lunchables sent me a nice letter and a coupon for $3 off of a Lunchables to make up for my incomplete lunch(able) that day. I hope Lunchables don’t cost more than $3? Either way it doesn’t matter, this coupon has expired since I was holding onto it just for this post. Oops.

I guess I should just frame the coupon and put it up on the wall now that it’s expired. This will show people my friendship with the Oscar Mayer company.

THE I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO CALL IT: NOT ENOUGH M&M’S

The last instance wasn’t really a problem at all. I was truly just informing the Keebler elves that I had purchased a bag of Keebler M&M cookies and every cookie in the bag either had one or two M&M’s only.

I have eaten tons of one or two M&M cookies in my day. It’s usually only a few of the cookies that don’t have the proper amount of M&M’s. When it’s a small percentage of the cookies that are missing M&M’s, it makes them special. When the whole bag has zero cookies with the proper three M&M’s, something has gone completely wrong.

I felt it was my duty to inform the Keebler elves of their mistake. I didn’t want other people to go M&M-less too.

My message to the Keebler elves. They must have a strong wifi signal in that tree, they got back to me right away.

Even though I wasn’t trying to get them to send me anything, the Keebler elves still sent me not one, but two coupons for their family of products. These just came in the other day so let’s hope I use them before they expire.


These are just three small experiences I’ve had like this of many. I’ve reached out to many companies with feedback and complaints and have usually received some help . I’m still a fan of these three companies. I will continue to shop at the Fresh Market weekly, and I have many Keebler Elf cookies and Lunchable to eat in my lifetime. 

That’s all.

Remember Arm Wrestling…

Remember when arm wrestling was a thing in movies? There was a time where most movies had a scene (usually at a bar) where one character had to arm wrestle another person (usually a giant strong dude) for information, some form of goods or just to prove themselves. This was in the 80s and 90s.

Some companies were dedicated to making specialty arm wrestling tables where you’d strap in your elbow and grab a small handle with your non-wrestling hand to have a stable arm wrestling match.

These tables are completely useless for any other activity. You can’t put snacks
on a table with all of these arm wrestling pillows… it’s just stupid!

Arm wrestling was even a thing you would see on real TV sometimes (like how you see cornhole tournaments, grocery bagging championships and cup stacking competitions today on ESPN). There was an arm wrestling league where people would arm wrestle each other in tournaments to see who had the strongest dominant arm.

Side Note: I actually looked it up and WAL, aka the World Armwrestling League is still a thing and there’s a Buffalo Wild Wings Open, so I guess it’s time we all boycott Buffalo Wild Wings?

I bet becoming the arm wrestling world champ is much easier as a lefty — less competition.

I’m not saying we should bring back the practice of arm wrestling, in fact, I think the exact opposite is true. I hope I never have to see another arm wrestling match in a movie ever again. If I see two people trying to arm wrestle in a bar I’m leaving that bar and I will never return.

Arm wrestling is a stupid thing of the past and it should be made illegal and forever banned in the entire world. I’m sorry if you’re reading this and you happen to be a professional arm wrestler, because that means you’ve wasted your life and you’re just realizing that right now as you read this.

So, in conclusion, Arm wrestling sucks. Why not be a full-body wrestler instead? Well, not a “real” Olympic wrestler because that’s boring to watch, be in the WWE and have a fun backstory. Have a cool finishing move that doesn’t make sense, but people are still afraid of it. Get your hands on that championship belt.

Or, if instead you don’t want to be any type of wrestler that’s ok too. Just keep doing whatever it is you were doing before you read this.

Thanks for your time, bye bye.