I was yesterday years old when…

There are many items and products that we consume in our every day lives, without ever really thinking much about them. How was this created? Who created this? Where did the name come from?

Some products are named using multiple words which together make up that products identity, but on their own they may mean something completely different. In some cases there may even be a hidden meaning or a pun behind the name. So much goes into naming and branding nowadays. And most consumers don’t pay much attention to it, at all.

It’s not that you’re dumb and missed something. You just probably never thought about it. Just as we’ve all said things like, “Give me a Kleenex,” instead of a tissue, because Kleenex is the brand we associate with tissues. So much so that some of us think tissues are actually called Kleenex. Or, for the older folks you may have said, “Make me a Xerox of this,” another brand used in place of the phrase “photo copy.” Or Band Aid vs bandage.

Because these names are so commonly used in our vernacular we don’t stop to think about what they mean. Now, Chips Ahoy! is not something anyone says daily, unless they are actually specifically talking about enjoying some delicious Chips Ahoy! cookies.

The other night, while eating Chips Ahoy! cookie(s) (I won’t disclose the exact number, because I’m never sure how many cookies I’ve eaten in any given day or moment in time), I had an epiphany. While staring at the logo I thought of the name. I know Ahoy! is something associated with captains and boats and pirates and whatnot. So I started thinking what that had to do with cookies.

Then I began thinking about the word chips, yes for chocolate chips or whatever chips they put in each cookie. But why did they use chips and not cookie or biscuit or anything else. Then I realized that it was a play on Ships, Ships Ahoy! that’s what captains or pirates would say.

I went a bit further and did some research and all I learned from the internet is that the name Chips Ahoy! must have come from one of two places. Either it came from a Charles Dickens story from the 1800s or it came from a Donal Duck cartoon in the 1950s.

After figuring this whole thing out I kind of felt like an idiot, but I know that at least one person will read this and realize that they too are an idiot like me. So, to that one person, “You are no idiot, you are just as smart as I am.” And, you are welcome.

I will also spend the rest of this week analyzing the name of any food I eat.

Here are some fun Chips Ahoy! ads to enjoy while you think about how you’re going to get some Chips Ahoy! cookies next time you go to the grocery store (or Instacart some groceries).

1980s Chips Ahoy! commercial starring Blossom’s older brother, Joey Lawrence… Whoa!
And here’s something a bit more recent…

Enjoy your cookies!

2 Chainz Cribz

Run the Jewels is definitely my favorite rap group right now. Killer Mike and El-P are killing it and everything they put out is gold, from RTJ I – RTJ IV and even the new Cyberpunk 2077 joint (No Save Point). When this whole pandemic thing is over and they go on tour, I will definitely go see them this time.

When RTJ IV came out earlier this year, I pre-ordered the vinyl version, even though I could just add the album to my Apple Music library as a subscriber (I did that too). I’ve listened to this album (along with the three others) non-stop. I listen while running, while driving, while doing work and pretty much any other time you could listen to music. They even recently performed the latest album in its entirety on HBO/MAX and YouTube (with Ben & Jerry’s as a sponsor).

This learning isn’t meant to be about my love for RTJ. I have something else to talk about related to them and their new album. It’s about a confusing lyric on RTJ IV. In the song “Out of Sight” 2 Chainz claims that he’s “Got a crib in like four states.”

2 Chainz has a home in “like” four states. So many questions come to mind. What exactly does this mean? Is he not sure how many homes he owns? Is he not sure where his homes are located? Is he unsure of how states and state lines work? Is he not sure which houses he owns and which ones he’s renting or borrowing? Is there some other thing I’m missing here?

2 Chainz sounds like his accountant’s worst nightmare come tax season.

INT. – AFTERNOON – ACCOUNTANT’S OFFICE

ACCOUNTANT:
So, how much did you pay in property taxes this year, Mr. Chainz?

2 CHAINZ:
2 Chainz is fine. I don’t know, “like” four houses worth?

ACCOUNTANT:
Um, ok Mr. 2 Chainz, and where are these properties located?

2 CHAINZ:
I don’t know, in like four states?

ACCOUNTANT:
You are my nightmare…

Let’s analyze this lyric a bit further and try to figure out what it could truly mean.

[Theory #1]
2 Chainz isn’t quite sure of the number of houses he owns.

I know that 2 Chainz raps a lot about being high (a whole lot) and I’m sure that can take a toll on the memory, but I think you should still be able to identify how many homes you own. If you own a house you have to have stuff in it. You should be able to identify your houses by some of your favorite items. 2 Chainz loves cars. I’m sure he would know that his red Ferrari is in his Florida house while his yellow Lambo is in his California house (just random examples, I don’t know where any of his homes or cars are actually located).

[Theory #2]
2 Chainz isn’t sure of which states he owns homes in.

2 Chainz may not be sure if he has multiple homes in the same state. It’s possible that he has a North Dakota home and a South Dakota home, but he gets the two confused (maybe even the Carolinas). Maybe he’s not aware that they are two different states. California. Texas. Those are very large states, maybe two houses are in one large state, but very far apart. SoCal and NorCal are two totally different worlds (I’ve never been to any part of California, but I can guess that that’s true).

[Theory #3]
2 Chainz may be renting out some property.

Most rappers are also entrepreneurs or business people. 2 Chainz may be renting out some homes to friends or strangers. Maybe he’s not sure which properties are owned vs which are rented. He could be in the act of either selling or buying one home. He may be renting one out to a family. (How awesome would it be to have 2 Chainz as your landlord). This is where the “like” comes into play. Saying, “I have like four cribs,” could translate to: I’m getting rid of one very soon or I own four, but one is occupied by a family of four at the moment.

[Theory #4]
It’s just one house that sits on the border of four states.

This is my final and favorite theory. 2 Chainz may just own one large square mansion, that has four quadrants, each in a different state. If this is the case, I imagine his house sitting on the border of Utah, Colorado, Arizona and New Mexico (and yes I had to look up that little four square area on a map because I don’t know my states very well). This theory makes the most sense with the lyric, GOT A CRIB (Just one house) IN LIKE FOUR STATES (‘like’ as in it’s kind of in each state).

These are all reasonable theories to consider. Another one is that he just added the word like because it would sound better than not using it in the song, but it actually has no meaning at all. I like to think it’s one of these theories though. Mainly the last one of the one giant square mansion, or the one where 2 Chainz is someone’s landlord who shows up monthly to collect rent and check on the pool.

Now, I leave you to enjoy this!
Hannibal Burress analyzing 2 Chainz’s music even further than I just did:

What Would I Do For a Klondike Bar?

I very much remember the commercials for Klondike bars as a kid, “What would you do-oh-ooh for a Klondike bar.” If you don’t remember them that’s ok, here’s one from the year I was born (1986):

Strange Klondike commercial from the year I was born.

Side Note: I also remember there was a big shaggy sheepdog in my neighborhood named Klondike who gave the best big shaggy hugs. We’d be outside playing basketball or rollerblading (or whatever kids were doing back in the 90s) and we’d always stop whatever we were doing to give Klondike a big smelly, shaggy hug. He was a big sweet boy.

I have always loved ice cream, but I never really got into Klondike bars in my childhood. Maybe the strange ads turned me off of them? Oh, wait, I have to complete a task for the right to enjoy one of these? No thanks, I’ll just get some regular ice cream from the store, instead. It wasn’t until way later on in life (most likely at a friend’s house) that I was finally able to try one.

I first tried the regular chocolate shell with vanilla ice cream inside. It was fine, but the market was full of competition in the milk chocolate shell/vanilla ice cream game. Haagen Daaz had their “hand-dipped” bars, Dove had their mini tunnel shaped ones, Blue Bell and Blue Bunny probably had something similar.

(Cut to the pandemic) I’ve been doing groceries for my parents each week, and I always like to go for what’s on sale when I can (It’s fun to see how much money you saved at the end of grocery shopping. It’s like a built-in mini-game). Klondikes were recently buy one, get one free (for a couple of weeks, actually). So, I got some Oreo, Heath, Reese’s (I’ve tried a few different flavors and I plan on trying a few more). And after trying a few different versions, I can now say that I am a big fan of Klondike bars and what they have to offer.

Now, going back to the commercial, I don’t think I would do anything crazy for a Klondike bar. They are delicious, but I would still just pay a couple dollars for one or a few of them. I would possibly make a trade, using an item I don’t really care for, for one. 

Maybe trade in some other treats? But other than just buying it or trading for it, I don’t think there’s much else I would do for a Klondike bar. I do really enjoy them, I just wouldn’t trade a functional kidney for one or anything unnecessary.

The World Needs More Jeff Goldblums

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Many people in this world are obsessed with Mr. Jeff Goldblum, with good reason. I’ve been a fan since Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park. I was later reminded in Thor: Ragnarok of how great Jeff Goldblum can be (he played the Grandmaster or Jeff Goldblum if he were, in fact, from space). It wasn’t until I watched an episode of The World According to Jeff Goldblum on Disney+ that I realized what a magical human being Jeff Goldblum truly is and how lucky the people of Earth are to have him.

In a time where everyone is so angry and there is so much hate going around, it’s nice to be able to watch the curious Jeff Goldblum embrace a brand new subject for the first time. At first, I was just excited to watch the episodes on topics that I actually cared for (like the first two episodes Sneakers and Ice Cream). However, after watching these two I realized that I could watch this guy learn and talk about anything in the world.

The next two episodes were Tattoos and Denim. Two things I didn’t know I cared about, until Jeff Goldblum was interested in them. The tattoo episode didn’t make me feel the need to get a tattoo, but it was still so interesting to watch. I don’t even think Jeff Goldblum has a tattoo. The denim episode just made me want a sweet new pair of jeans.  He just has a curious brain and is willing to learn about anything and that’s what makes this show so special.

Each episode begins with some well-known aspect of the episode’s topic. We also receive a short history lesson from the mouth of Mr. Jeff Goldblum alongside some beautifully designed graphics. By the end of each episode we have visited some obscure corner of the topic at hand and that’s always the best part (like BBQ-ed crickets or Amish RVs). No matter how strange it may seem Jeff Goldblum is always down to have a good time and learn something new.

Any human who’s ever had a conversation with the great Jeff Goldblum should consider themselves one of the lucky ones. The way he randomly breaks into improvised musical solos with his mouth or some wacky Jeff Goldblum sounds are some of the best parts of the show. His excitement and curiosity is an inspiration to us all. Imagine if instead of just shutting someone down for trying to talk to you about something they’re interested in, you just listened with an open mind instead (and if you didn’t like what you heard you could just tell them they are dumb afterwards). Wouldn’t that be nice?


With everything going on in the world right now, we definitely need more
Jeff Goldblums.

Be better to each other and maybe we can stop being so angry.

THE SECRET OREO AGREEMENT

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OREOs are known as “Milk’s favorite cookie,” but what, in fact, does that statement even mean? What does it prove? Nothing. Did all of the milks get together in one place and vote for their favorite cookie? Is this just the cow’s milk population or were all the new vegan and strange mylks (with a “y”) involved in this process? Should the cows have a say in this? There would be no milk without the cows, plus cows have brains and milk has no brains.

Of course, I know that the phrase “Milk’s favorite cookie” was coined by some “clever” copywriter from whatever agency worked for Nabisco at the time. I love OREOs, I’m just saying that their slogan is stupid. Milk doesn’t care what you put in it. Do you think milk has a preference for which cereal floats around in it? It doesn’t, but if it did, it would most likely be Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

CTC Milk

I don’t think that anyone was really bored of the Classic and Double Stuf OREOs, but it is exciting that they have tried so many new (some good and some not so good) flavors. I’ve always been happy with a Classic or Double Stuf OREO, but I started trying out their new flavors recently, just because they are usually on sale. 

During the quarantine alone, I’ve tried Tiramisu, Peanut Butter Pie, Toasted Marshmallow and a few others that I’ve enjoyed. I’ve seen the Cherry Cola and Peeps along with many flavors that I didn’t think were necessary. There’s only one thing that I haven’t seen from OREO, and it’s the most obvious combo of all — The Reverse OREO.

Sure, there’s the Golden OREO, which is just switching out the classic chocolate wafers for golden vanilla ones. We’ve also seen the classic chocolate wafers with chocolate creme. But why is it we haven’t seen Golden Vanilla cookies with Chocolate creme? I’ll tell you why (or at least why I think we haven’t seen it).

It’s those damn Keebler elves. The Keebler Elf mafia got together with the Nabisco (NAtional BIScuit COmpany) family for a secret meeting, in their tiny secret tree boardroom, many moons ago to make sure that consumers would never see the “Reverse OREO” on shelves anywhere. If there ever was, that would ruin the sales of My second favorite cookies The E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies (second favorite after OREOs, of course). Because an E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookie is just a “Reverse Oreo” in the shape of an elf with some witty writing on it’s backside.

el fudge cookies

I just hope this agreement expires soon so that I can see the “Reverse OREO” in my lifetime. There was a time where E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies came in reverse, with chocolate wafers and some OREO-type creme filling. The Keebler Elves could do that because they run the cookie world. They’re hidden away in their tiny tree offices where no one will ever find them.

Well, now this must end, because I have to go find myself some E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies and/or OREOs to eat. So, please enjoy this fun video of the OREO project I was a part of with some cool friends in my time at the Ad School.
(Thanks Justin, Matt and Wan)

 

*No actual research was done for this article. 

**If the “Reverse OREO” aka Golden OREOs with Chocolate Creme has ever existed for even a small point in time I have never seen them, and I won’t believe you unless you actually bring me some to eat.

A MILLION WRONG WAYS TO HIT A GOLF BALL

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Just as there is no wrong way to eat a Reese’s, there is no “right way” to hit a golf ball. This is something I’ve learned after years and years of hitting golf balls (notice I did not say “years and years of playing golf,” because most of my time golfing is spent on the shooting range, hitting balls and doing some chippy-putty afterwards).

In all these years of golf club swinging, I’ve figured out that there is no one “correct way” to hit a golf ball, but there are definitely millions of things that you can be and are doing wrong. I know this because every person who has ever tried to “improve my golf swing” with some hot tip or quick lesson has told me something different that I am doing wrong (and there’s a whole lotta wrong with my golf swing).

My golf career started back in high school. At first I would go to the shooting range with my golfer buddy and hit balls with his clubs. One day, my other “golf buddy” was getting new golf clubs the next day and offered to give me his old clubs. I offered him all of the money in my wallet at the time (which was ten dollars) and my fake Rolex (which I happened to be wearing at the time). I’m sure it stopped working very soon after. It was a great deal (for me).

To this day, these are still my current golf clubs. I did pick up some others along the way, which were also given to me. I added a putter and some woods to my collection, but never a driver. I picked up a sweet golf bag of holding, as well.

Golf lessons are a bigger sham than the McDonald’s Monopoly game back in the 1900’s. If you took a one hour golf lesson with five different people, I’m sure you’d have five totally different critiques on your golf game. Swinging a golf club is like jazz music, it’s not about the things you’re doing right, it’s about all the things you’re not doing at all (that may not make any sense, but maybe it does to a few people who like jazz music).

I think golf can probably be a relaxing activity, if you know what you’re doing (but I would never call golf a sport). Most people drive around in a little cart instead of doing the one part that can be considered a sport — walking. Pros have a bag boy who carries their stuff and tells them exactly what to do. Fans are told to be quiet (in a basketball game, I’m allowed to scream as someone tries to make a free throw, but in golf I can’t make any sound while someone is swinging their club?) There’s a fancy dress code. Sports don’t have fancy dress codes.

There is so much to think about when swinging any golf club, but once you’re actually playing nine or eighteen holes, you need to drop all the thinking and be able to rely on your muscle memory. I haven’t learned how to do that yet, so I will continue to whack balls at the shooting range and play chippy-putty afterwards.

2019 was a Good Year

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2019 was a good year. I visited Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge twice, and once more at the beginning of this year. I saw some cool movies (Knives Out, Frozen 2, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker). Disney+ came out, giving me access to so many old and new Disney movies, series and tons of other stuff. I was a part of many, many improv shows every weekend. I even got my first money for acting in a “talk show” ($5 cash. Thanks, Elaine!).

With Wednesday rehearsals and shows most Thursdays through Saturdays I had many late nights. This has affected my eating habits. I shifted breakfast from the early morning (8 or 9 am) to sometime between 10 am and noon. Lunch moved to sometime between 2 and 4 pm. With a snack thrown in the mix on running and work out days, ending the day with a very late dinner (11 pm or later). 

With this shifting schedule and trying to be on-time to rehearsals and shows I discovered a new faster technique to have a snack… 

…It all started with one banana

One day, I was running a bit late for rehearsal, since I was feeling particularly lazy that day I didn’t go for a run until almost 6 pm (I’ll normally run closer to 5 pm to give me enough time). I got back and had to take a lightning quick shower, but I needed some sort of fuel to make sure I wouldn’t pass out. I grabbed a banana and ate it in the shower, taking out two tasks with one banana.


I’ve also learned that car bananas are fun, because you get to throw the peel out the window and live in the world of Mario Kart for a few seconds. I don’t think it’s bad for the environment. Someone will eat it, right?

This started my 2019 trend. What else can I eat in the shower? Here are some other things I ate in the shower last year: Microwaveable Protein Muffin, Energy Bars (Rx, Lara, Clif) and Cold Brew. I’m sure there are other things that I can’t think of (like Dum Dums). But these were all the successful shower snacks I can think of.

This whole thing really started in college, but instead of eating in the shower I would sometimes have a drink in the shower, while getting ready to go out. Shower beers are always good (Have you ever had a beer in a pool, while laying on a float? It feels like your life is a Corona commercial). Also, a shower Cider. Anything cold really. A hot tea in the shower may not be as relaxing, but an iced coffee works, too.

I’ve also thought of some things I would never want to eat in the shower: oatmeal, hot soup, salad, a sandwich, yogurt (unless it’s Go-Gurt, but who eats Go-Gurt anymore?)… 

What other new things can I try in the shower in 2020? What’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten in the shower, or in another strange place? Comment below.

 

What other new lessons will I learn in 2020? Tune in to find out…

YOU LOOK GREAT!

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I recently learned that anytime someone tells me I look like I’ve lost weight, or any compliments about my body, I end up using that information as a reason to eat whatever I want. This usually happens when I’m dressed nice for a wedding or a fancy event. I think fancy clothes makes me look better than I normally look, but I will stick to my normal clothes because I will always choose comfort over fashion (if it’s cold enough I will wear my fancy sweatpants to your fancy party).

I received multiple compliments on looking “skinnier” in 2019 (before the holidays), although I’m pretty sure I was stuck at around the same weight for most of the year. I haven’t been eating lots of fast food lately, but I also haven’t been eating that much “healthy” food either. I’ve struck a balance of good and bad food choices and enough exercise to stay at my current weight.

Of course, when a few people told me I looked good at a wedding, I decided to visit Burger King on my way home. There was pizza, garlic rolls, pasta, cake and a full-service ice cream bar at the wedding (which I totally ate), however I still found the need to get some BK, way later in the evening. I did eat all of those things pretty early, and by the time I went to BK it was already tomorrow (past midnight). I’m pretty sure I had only eaten two meals that day before BK — (1) a late breakfast and (2) the pizza, ice cream bar and all of those other goodies. So, I still kept it to the traditional three meals in a day.

The last few times I ate fast food, I was “forced” to by outside circumstances: (1) I went to a late movie and the concessions were closed when I got there, cancelling my popcorn and Buncha Crunch dinner. This left me starving when I got out of the movie, which led to a stop at Wendy’s. (2) We drove to Disney for Food & Wine and Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge for one day, after about 8 hours of driving and 10 hours of food, wine and traveling the world (plus, going off-planet) I had to stop for some Taco Bell on my way home. (3) At that wedding where three to four people (who hadn’t seen me in a while, so maybe they forgot what I looked like) told me I looked like I had lost weight, so I stopped at Burger King on my way home.

Maybe it’s a self-sabotage thing, or maybe my brain doesn’t enjoy compliments. I’m not really sure what it is, but for 2020 I’m going to try to make better choices when it comes to food late at night. Instead of eating fried chicken or pizza at midnight, I can try a soup instead, maybe even a salad (No one has ever chosen to eat a salad past midnight, and I don’t think I will be the first person to). 

I can’t make the right choice every time of course, because once it’s that late and you haven’t eaten dinner, the only thing you want to eat is the most unhealthy thing you can find on the menu. Tacos are an acceptable late night food choice, you get your veggies and meats and sometimes some cheese, too. Breakfast food late at night is also a good choice, that way you can skip breakfast in the morning since you had it before bed.

So, please stop telling me I look like I’ve lost weight or it will be your fault when I end up in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell later on that night.

NO COMMERCIAL BREAKS

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A few months ago, I began watching SUPERSTORE on Hulu. I had heard it was a fun, goofy show, and I’m a fan of “Jonah” (who plays the lawyer on Silicon Valley). I also liked that there were already four seasons to watch, so I knew it would take me some time to get through it all.

I’m not a binger of shows. I don’t enjoy watching a whole butt-load of episodes of one show in a single weekend, unless I have already seen the entire series and it’s playing in the background while I’m cooking or doing other stuff. I like to treat my shows like a fine Merlot. I take in one episode at a time, maybe two or three in a full day, at most. I let shows breath so that entire seasons don’t become one mega episode of mush in my brain.

Superstore has so much, “REAL” product placement in it, that it should not have commercial breaks. As someone who isn’t a fan of forced product placement in movies and TV shows (like Michael Bay’s 2-hour Transformers Car Commercials, AKA the ones after Shia Lebeouf), SUPERSTORE does a great job with having all the products on the shelves, but not in your face.

SUPERSTORE takes place inside of a Walmart clone, called Cloud 9. Cloud 9 carries only real products that you would find in Walmart and Target and other real-life superstores. Most times when you see a product on a TV series, it’s usually a fake brand they created just for the show, so they don’t have to deal with the companies who make these products.

I’ve only watched SUPERSTORE on Hulu, so I’m not sure if it actually has commercial breaks when episodes play on prime time (if it doesn’t leave a comment below and let me know). If a soccer game can get away with not having commercial breaks just because each player is a walking ad for the team sponsor, then SUPERSTORE should definitely not have commercials.

Perhaps SUPERSTORE can do what pod casters do and create their own ads within the show, where they get to say whatever they want. Sort of like how pod casters just say whatever they want when creating ads for strange internet brands, like MeUndies, Blue Apron and Third Love. 

SUPERSTORE is showing off so many products that we all know and already buy. While watching episodes I sometimes add things to my grocery list (this makes the show not only entertaining but also convenient). Usually, this would annoy me, but since they never really talk about the products or have the camera zoom in on certain ones it doesn’t bother me. It just makes the world seem more realistic.

On the show I’ve seen everything from La Croix, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Doritos to Reed’s Ginger Beer and Squatty Potties. I hope all of these brands are paying SUPERSTORE to carry their products on the shelves of Cloud 9, and that is how SUPERSTORE will stay on TV forever, taking money from all of these rich companies to create entertainment as I slowly watch it on my friend’s Hulu account until the end of time.

Cuban Coffee is Sh*t

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I learned to drink coffee the way most kids in Miami learned to drink coffee. Back in middle school, my introduction to coffee was Cuban Coffee. Cortaditos, Cafe con leche, Coladas. Cuban Coffee was a good gateway into the coffee world for a youngster, but it definitely was not “good coffee.”

I’m sure many people will be upset at me for saying that Cuban Coffee is not good coffee.

Why do people love Cuban Coffee so much? It’s mostly the added sugar and/or milk that makes it taste good. The coffee itself just taste like low-quality coffee. It has no distinct flavors. If you can’t drink it straight up (black), then it’s probably not a good coffee. And no one really drinks Cuban Coffee straight up (they add tons of sugar to it).

Cuban Coffee is no better than Starbucks (although their newer Blonde Roast is fine, on its own). No one is actually going to Starbucks for the coffee, though. People go to Starbucks for all the sugar, chocolate, caramel and other delicious junk they stuff into their “coffee drinks”. Black coffee at Starbucks tastes burnt. I once used their beans for a cold brew and it ended up tasting like what burnt tires smell like.

Starbucks may get their coffee beans from exotic farmers across the world, but they are given the snicklefritz (aka the garbage pile, aka the crappy leftovers). I’m sure there are good Cuban Coffee beans out there, somewhere. But, all of the Cuban restaurants and bakeries are using the snicklefritz, as well (Pilon, Bustelo, Sergio’s Coffee).

I don’t think I’m better than Starbucks or Cuban Coffee. I enjoy the occasional sugary coffee drink and S’mores frappuccino. I’ll dip my tostada in a Cafe con Leche. I’ll even have some Colada sometimes after lunch. These things all taste good, I’m just saying that the coffee beans themselves are garbage beans. Most people haven’t tried good coffee, they’ve just enjoyed crappy coffee their whole lives.

It’s like when you try a real fruit after only having the canned version in syrup before that. Which is something that happened to me with lychee fruit the other day. And I said to myself, Wow, I didn’t know the real thing could taste so good.

Just like with beer, I guess I’ve become a coffee snob. I would much rather drink one or two beers that I enjoy over ‘TeLeven’ cans (that’s the number between ten and eleven) of dirty beer water. I’m trying to only drink one to maybe two coffee drinks per day. So, I’m keeping it to good quality coffee. I get beans from Panther, Intelligentsia and other fancy roasters. Sometimes, I just check what Fresh Market has on sale and if it’s not very good I end up cold brewing it. There’s also something fun about making a pour over in the morning. It feels like a science experiment that I get to enjoy with my mouth.

Every once in a while, I do need a sugary frappuccino or some cafe con leche. And that’s why I’m happy to live in the capital of coladas and croquetas.