This first question is for the dudes. Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a pee in a public restroom and you hear female voices coming from outside and immediately think you may be in the wrong bathroom? Then, you look down and realize you’re peeing at a urinal and they don’t have those in women’s bathrooms — or at least that is what we’ve been told.
Do women even know what a urinal looks like in real life? I guess from TV and movies, right? But I bet they would look weird in real life if you weren’t used to seeing them all the time.
I remember back in middle school the boys thought it was funny to lock each other in the girls bathroom. It was like the scariest thing that could happen, because that is exactly where you would go to catch the cooties. One day our teacher got annoyed and split the class into two groups: girls and boys.
She then took the girls on a field trip to the boys bathroom and the boys on a field trip to the girls bathroom to show us they were basically the same. I think one boy asked, “hey, where’s the urinals?” I remember the girl’s room having pink tiles on the wall, while we had blue — like a gender reveal party.
Here’s another bathroom thing I hear all the time lately. Any time the line for the Men’s bathroom is longer than the Women’s, I hear about seventeen different people say the same thing, “Wow, the men’s line is longer than the women’s? That never happens.”
What I noticed lately is that this does happen, often. Usually at places like the movies, after watching a big action movie. Something like Top Gun: Maverick or any new Marvel or Star Wars. It happens at sporting events and at rock concerts. It even happens at casinos (last time I was at the Hard Rock).
I’m pretty sure the men’s line is longer than the women’s line in most bathrooms, other than bars. And even there, lately the men have had a longer line. It was in college when women’s lines were always longer.
That’s all the bathroom thoughts I’ve had lately. I hope you enjoyed them. Thanks and I’ll be back later this week or next week with a special new post if everything goes as planned.
The first time I visited Batuu (Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge in Walt Disney World) was back in October of 2019. It was a day trip* and I couldn’t wait to go back. I didn’t have to wait very long, by December we made another day trip to Batuu. I was also able to go for a few hours in January of 2020, but it was too crowded and I got rained on, so I decided to come home early. That was my last trip to Walt Disney World.
MY STAR WARS STORY: I didn’t grow up a huge Star Wars fan. I wasn’t really exposed to Star Wars until the Prequel Trilogy (Episodes I-III), which I watched in theaters. In middle school, a friend tried to show me the original trilogy and I didn’t care for it. I was more into silly comedies and buddy cop movies back then. (Some of my favorites included The Big Hitstarring Markie Mark and John Leguizamo’s The Pestand of course, Face Off with John Travolta and Nick Cage).
It wasn’t until hearing about J.J. Abrams’s new Star Wars Trilogy that I decided to sit down and watch all six films. I thought, “Hey, this dude made me think Star Trek** was cool again!” I enlisted my best friend (who wasn’t really into Star Wars either) and we watched all six movies, about one per week. This time we really got into them.
Side Note: We did take one week off to watch an indie movie, The Way, Way Back which ended up biting us in the butt. It must have been after watching Empire. In one scene some kid is playing with some Luke and Leia toys and making them kiss, and someone yells, “Gross! They’re brother and sister!” Of course, this was already public knowledge, but I guess we had forgotten since we were currently watching everything for the first time. We both screamed out, “Aw, spoiler alert!” even though it was about thirty years, too late (that’s on us).
It wasn’t just the Star Wars films that got me excited, I immersed myself in the universe with The Clone Wars (which I’m re-watching now in order of events) and Rebels. I even have read a few of the Star Wars comics and books (Lords of the Sith, Ahsoka, Phasma and some others). I love the art of Star Wars, and all the amazing fan art. I even recently bought the twenty-two pound Ralph McQuarrie art book that has been in my Amazon cart for a few years. I woke up early on Friday mornings to watch the latest Mandalorian episode on Disney+ before going to work.
I may have become a fan of everything Star Wars a bit late in life, but I have become a big fan. I love that we’re now able to travel to Batuu. We can have a drink at Oga’s Cantina. We can pilot the Millennium Falcon, which I did and even got to warp us into light speed. I still haven’t been on Rise of the Resistance, which brings me to the point of this whole thing.
A NEW BATUU: I planned to visit Disney with my girlfriend for my birthday, back in March. However, my birthday happened to be about a weekend or two after Disney World decided to close due to the pandemic. I know that they are opened right now, with limited capacity and lots of new rules (which makes complete sense). And, I hope that Disney is able to set the example of how to reopen such a large place during this pandemic.
I am a Walt Disney World Passholder and I want to go back as soon as possible. I had definitely planned to go for my birthday and at least one more time before the summer blackout took place. I just don’t want to go to Disney during a pandemic. I don’t want to have to wear a mask while I’m there and only be able to enjoy partial experiences of all the things I love.
The great part about visiting Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is going to a new planet, Batuu. You’re able to let go and not worry about what’s going on in the real world for a few days. I definitely don’t want to travel to another planet (Batuu) and have to deal with COVID while I’m there. I’m leaving my current planet (and galaxy). I would hope that COVID hasn’t traveled that far.
The whole point of going to Galaxy’s Edge is to get lost in your own immersive Star Wars experience. The cast members are all characters, playing a role. I don’t want COVID to taint that experience. I don’t want to ride Smuggler’s Run with my mask on. I don’t want to get on Star Tours with a giant piece of glass between me and the rebel on board. I want to have a normal Disney experience, and I feel like it will be some time before that is possible. So, for now I will continue watching, reading and listening to all the things that take place in a galaxy far, far away.
* I call my first two visits to Batuu a day trip because we drove up early in the morning, spent part of the day in Epcot and the second part in Galaxy’s Edge, before driving all the way back home when the park closed.
** I do remember watching Star Trek: The Next Generation sometimes as a kid, and not really getting it. So, I guess I already thought Star Trek was kind of cool?
Congratulations! If you stuck around unitl the very end, you now get to enjoy this…
This past weekend I visited one of my favorite places on earth, Walt Disney World Resorts & Parks. I didn’t have the pleasure of staying in one of the beautiful Disney Resorts, but we did eat breakfast at the Polynesian, so I did visit one (that’s also how I get free parking, but don’t tell the mouse). I got to do two parks in one day for a total of 14 hours of Disney fun.
I learned a lot on this trip to Disney. I confirmed my fear of the unknown when walking into Stich’s Great Escape I thought, “Why does the thing need to come down over my head? I don’t want to be lifted into the sky. No thank you.” I learned that Star Tours added an all-new chase scene from The Force Awakens, which featured Finn and BB-8 and got me very excited to watch Episode VII – for a third time. I also learned that the Enchanted Tiki Room and the Country Bear Jamboree are still around in the Magic Kingdom, which I don’t think I’ve visited since the 00’s (like before 2010).
We visited both the Country Bear Jamboree and Enchanted Tiki Room and I realized that both of these shows don’t really have a point, or at least that’s what I thought. The truth is both shows do have a point, and they both follow through with that point. In both rooms you’re just here for a concert and they both go according to plan.
The reason why that feels weird is because most shows, rides and experiences in Disney don’t go according to plan. The whole point behind most of these rides, shows and experiences is to trick you, and I will give you three examples of the trickery behind Walt Disney (I’ll try not to ruin anything for people who haven’t been to Disney yet. But if you’re reading this and you haven’t been to Disney, then you probably don’t care or your parents didn’t love you).
Example 1 Muppets 3D
You come into Muppets 3D thinking you are about to see this spectacular show featuring your favorite Muppets, all in a very primitive 3D experience (seriously, I love the show but that old school 3D gives me a headache. Let’s film a new Muppets IMAX 3D. I know you Disney people got plenty money). So once again, you think you’re going to see a 3D spectacular, featuring musical performances and other great stage productions. Instead a weird 3D talking balloon animal gets loose and almost burns the theater you’re in to the ground.
Example 2 Star Tours
On your arrival at Star Tours you believe you’re getting a normal transport through space. Everything instantly goes wrong when C3P0 is stuck behind the wheel of your spacecraft, and an unwanted fugitive is found onboard. The whole thing unfolds into a galactic shootout. And it turns out to be a much different tour through space than you were expecting (maybe Disney should hire me to write reviews for their rides).
Example 3 the Great Movie Ride
Oh wow, look at all these classic movies that I’ve never seen. What’s that? A mob shootout? A bank robbery? A burning building? Where are you going, classical film tour guide? Now we just got hijacked by some wanted criminal on the world’s slowest buggy. Don’t worry though, our tour guide will be back in time to watch the ginger midgets sing and dance.
These three rides/shows are great examples of the Disney formula. Make the audience think they are here for one thing, then throw in a wild card, but don’t worry it always works out. If you think about it most things that are promised to you never actually happen in Disney (but we’re ok with it because what really happens is even better). In Philhar-magic you think you’re going to see Maestro MIckey put on a killer symphony. Instead Donald Duck chases after Mickey’s hat, but you get to hear some of your favorite Disney songs along the way. So, in the end they trick you, but you still get your music.
The Country Bears and Tiki Room both don’t follow this particular Disney formula. The Country Bears is just some bears playing music, but it turns out some of these bears (or all of them) are a wee bit drunk – just look at their drunk eyes. The Tiki Room is just a bunch of birds in the rafters singing songs for you. It’s fun because none of the birds poop on you.
One place I was happy not to visit was the Hall of Presidents. I haven’t been there in over 10 years, and that makes me happy. All I remember from the Hall of Presidents is Abraham Lincoln’s infamous banana noises. (Michael Ian Black taught me about Banana noises – the sounds one makes while eating a banana). Some people happen to make banana noises in between sentences when speaking (ie. Animatronic Abraham Lincoln – I hope the real Abe Lincoln didn’t make banana noises). I’m pretty sure all the presidents make banana noises, and if O’Bama is there his version of banana noises would be just saying “um.”
Disney is still one of my favorite places on earth. Even though they trick you and I’m afraid of most of the rides. I still have an awesome time whenever I go there and I will continue to be a fan of Disney, because they own everything I LOVE (Marvel, Pixar, Star Wars, Mickey Mouse & his friends and probably a bunch of stuff I don’t know about yet).