OREOs are known as “Milk’s favorite cookie,” but what, in fact, does that statement even mean? What does it prove? Nothing. Did all of the milks get together in one place and vote for their favorite cookie? Is this just the cow’s milk population or were all the new vegan and strange mylks (with a “y”) involved in this process? Should the cows have a say in this? There would be no milk without the cows, plus cows have brains and milk has no brains.

Of course, I know that the phrase “Milk’s favorite cookie” was coined by some “clever” copywriter from whatever agency worked for Nabisco at the time. I love OREOs, I’m just saying that their slogan is stupid. Milk doesn’t care what you put in it. Do you think milk has a preference for which cereal floats around in it? It doesn’t, but if it did, it would most likely be Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

I don’t think that anyone was really bored of the Classic and Double Stuf OREOs, but it is exciting that they have tried so many new (some good and some not so good) flavors. I’ve always been happy with a Classic or Double Stuf OREO, but I started trying out their new flavors recently, just because they are usually on sale. 

During the quarantine alone, I’ve tried Tiramisu, Peanut Butter Pie, Toasted Marshmallow and a few others that I’ve enjoyed. I’ve seen the Cherry Cola and Peeps along with many flavors that I didn’t think were necessary. There’s only one thing that I haven’t seen from OREO, and it’s the most obvious combo of all — The Reverse OREO.

Sure, there’s the Golden OREO, which is just switching out the classic chocolate wafers for golden vanilla ones. We’ve also seen the classic chocolate wafers with chocolate creme. But why is it we haven’t seen Golden Vanilla cookies with Chocolate creme? I’ll tell you why (or at least why I think we haven’t seen it).

It’s those damn Keebler elves. The Keebler Elf mafia got together with the Nabisco (NAtional BIScuit COmpany) family for a secret meeting, in their tiny secret tree boardroom, many moons ago to make sure that consumers would never see the “Reverse OREO” on shelves anywhere. If there ever was, that would ruin the sales of My second favorite cookies The E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies (second favorite after OREOs, of course). Because an E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookie is just a “Reverse Oreo” in the shape of an elf with some witty writing on it’s backside.

I just hope this agreement expires soon so that I can see the “Reverse OREO” in my lifetime. There was a time where E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies came in reverse, with chocolate wafers and some OREO-type creme filling. The Keebler Elves could do that because they run the cookie world. They’re hidden away in their tiny tree offices where no one will ever find them.

Well, now this must end, because I have to go find myself some E.L. Fudge Elfwich cookies and/or OREOs to eat. So, please enjoy this fun video of the OREO project I was a part of with some cool friends in my time at the Ad School.
(Thanks Justin, Matt and Wan)

*No actual research was done for this article. 

**If the “Reverse OREO” aka Golden OREOs with Chocolate Creme has ever existed for even a small point in time I have never seen them, and I won’t believe you unless you actually bring me some to eat.