I don’t remember what I was watching the other day, but I do remember someone saying, “That’s like comparing Apples to Oranges.” This wasn’t the first time I’d heard this phrase being used. However, it was the first time I actually thought about it, and I realized how dumb this phrase actually is.

For those of you who don’t know, or have never heard this phrase (aka foreigners), it is used when trying to compare two things that are incomparable. For instance, if I were to ask, “What’s better? Sunglasses or Chocolate.” Someone might say, “Come on man, that’s like comparing Apples to Oranges.” But, it isn’t anything like comparing Apples to Oranges, and I’ll tell you why:

Sure, Apples and Oranges have different flavor profiles, but they still have so much in common.

For instance, they are both fruits, which grow from the ground, and they both contain seeds. That’s already three things. They are both things you eat. And they can both be enjoyed as a delicious juice. They are both sweet, and are both used as candy flavors. They are both roundish, and one is orange and one is red, which are two colors that may be mistaken for each other. They both come in a multitude of varieties. They are both sold by the pound. You get the idea.

If you want to tell someone, “Wow, that’s a weird thing to compare!” Maybe you should use an odder comparison. Maybe, something like Apples to Space Shuttles or Oranges to Laser Guns, or Bananas to Headphones, or Pears to Pencils. All of these examples make more sense, because someone could say, “Yeah, why would you compare those two things?”

So, next time you want to tell someone that they are comparing, “Apples to Oranges,” think of a stranger example. For one thing, it will probably get a laugh, but also you will seem smarter than you actually are.

Comment with some of your _____ to ______ examples below… or don’t, if you want to be a dick…

Thank you!