COVID DREAMS???

Has the Coronavirus infiltrated your dream world? For the most part my dreams haven’t contained much COVID yet (no masks or social distancing necessary). Most of my dreams have taken place in the past or possibly some alternate reality where this whole pandemic debacle hasn’t even happened (or maybe we had a real grown up president in my dreams who knew to listen to the smart people in the room and the whole thing has passed).

In my last dream, I discovered that I had a check for $1,500 from DMX (yes, that DMX the rapper AKA Earl Simmons). Maybe it came from one of his albums that I had owned
(It’s Dark and Hell is Hot? Flesh of my Flesh, Blood of my Blood? The Great Depression?) 

In my dream, I obviously went to the bank to check if this check was for real. I ran into a friend at the bank, helped start her car and from there the whole thing transformed into a murder mystery inside of the bank/haunted mansion (because now the bank had transformed into a haunted mansion). 

I never found out if that check from DMX was real or not. I definitely searched my room for it in the morning (Spoiler Alert! I found nothing but a few DMX CDs).
(…And then there was X, Grand Champ, The Great Depression)

I guess what I really wanted to say is, “Dreams are weird. Wear a mask and vote for Biden!”

-Also, I owned most of DMX’s discography, so maybe the dude does owe me a check.

MY THOUGHTS ON JIMMY BUFFETT

buffett-filejpg-ed76117160b4c70dFL title

This week’s learning isn’t about something that I recently discovered. This week I’m talking about something that I’ve known for quite some time. Before I go any further, let me just tell you that I am only expressing my opinion on this particular subject. If you do not agree with me, that is fine, you may just be an idiot.

What I’ve known for a while now is this:

Jimmy Buffett’s music is garbage!

It’s basically “The Wiggles,” but instead of being created with children in mind, he’s catering to a much different crowd — Drunken older white people (A.K.A. Parrotheads).

Any time Jimmy Buffett writes a new song, he uses the same formula as Barney, the Wiggles and all the other musical children’s TV shows. He asks himself these questions:

1 What does my audience like?

Cheeseburgers, Margaritas, Not Math

 

2 How can I make a catchy song about this subject?

Cheeseburger in Paradise, Margaritaville, Math Sucks


Two of these three songs became global restaurant chains.

Jimmy Buffett’s music may suck (like Math, according to him — I actually think math is awesome, and knowledge is power), but he is a killer business man. He has restaurants, bars, hotels, books, beers, blenders, drink mixes, sauces and all kinds of swag. He’s in Jurassic World (Spoiler Alert!) and there’s even a fake Margaritaville in the fake park in the movie.

Buffett is neither an “artist” nor a “musician,” he’s an entrepreneur who enjoys drinking, chilling outdoors and drinking some more. I just wanted to share my opinion about his music being for simple children who grew up to be simple adults. But you gotta give the man some credit, he is a genius who lived through a plane crash.

To demonstrate my point, watch this video for Fins.
What a dumb song…

JIMMY BUFFETT – FINS

 

Ok, maybe it’s not that bad, and it is kind of catchy. Look how much fun the drunk old white people are having. And the song comes with it’s own cool and easy-to-follow dance moves, like Soulja Boy but way simpler.

Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe Jimmy Buffett doesn’t suck so much.