Ferdi’s Ice Cream History

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Last week I announced to the world that I am going to start making Ice Cream for everyone… [for Money]. So, now I have to come up with a whole business plan and all that jazz. I didn’t think people were going to be so excited, but they were. Now I kind of wish I had more hands so I could make more ice cream for more people (having more hands wouldn’t really help at all. What I really need is more Freezer bowls, or maybe an industrial ice cream machine. That would be pretty sweet).

How did I get into this whole Ice cream thing? I’ll tell you:

A few years ago I was given an ice cream machine (by Buttnessa*), so I could make ice cream for her. And I did. We made a Mascarpone Chocolate Chip Ice Cream (a la Giada) that was delicious. And I’ve made it a few more times since. After making that ice cream I used the machine a few more times and then it just sat there for a while.

I found a Ben & Jerry’s recipe book for only $5 with very simple recipes. That’s when I began experimenting with more ice cream creations. This book told me to just quickly mix my ingredients together and throw them in the ice cream machine and see what happens.

Later, I came across a new ice cream recipe book from Bi-Rite Creamery in San Francisco. I’ve never been there, but I hope to one day go visit them (and let them know that they either changed my life and maybe some others). This book taught me about “cooking” the cream before freezing it (like some Walter White Blue Magic chemistry experiment ice cream). This was a much longer process, but with much creamier and much more delectable results.

I made a few recipes from the book and created some of my own, starting with their bases and adding whatever I felt like throwing in there.

This Christmas I decided to make ice cream for my friends, because that’s cheaper than buying everyone gifts and I had no money. It was during Christmas that I developed my own ice cream base recipe (which I will not share with anyone). Everyone loved their ice cream, and some of them told me their friends were over and tried some and said they would pay money for it. (I even made an ice cream birthday cake for my best friend, sIsI*).

It was through all this ice cream making that I came up with the idea to sell my ice cream to strangers and friends (for money).

So, starting some time in May, I will make the announcement of how to place your orders, what the name of my ice cream will be, what you can order and all that other good stuff. So, be prepared world (or people in Miami, because I can’t ship ice cream across the world, YET… but dry ice does exist, so keep your fingers crossed non-Miami friends) because my ice cream is coming for you!
*The real names and identities of individuals named in this learning have been changed to protect those individuals.

TOO MANY TV SHOWS!

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This week I came to a very important realization:

There are way too many TV shows and movies and I’ll never have enough time to watch all the good ones.

With all of these internet streaming services creating their own content, plus all the regular and premium channels — how are we supposed to watch all the good shows? You just can’t. There was a time — just a few months ago — where I would record and watch every episode of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. It started back with Late Night (way before I was a guest on the show). At some point I was watching every Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and every Conan. Sorry Coco, but I had to drop you a while back (I watch Conan clips on YouTube from time to time, like anytime there’s a Clueless Gamer. YouTube even has it’s own original movies and series now!). Now my DVR is filling up and I had to start screening guests on The Tonight Show. I even speed watch just to see the interviews. I skip monologues, pros and cons, even thank you notes.

I have a full season of Agents of Shield, the current season of Always Sunny and way more shows piling up on my DVR. Why is this happening? Every night I get in my bed and use my AppleTV instead to watch Netflix shows, Comedy Central Specials and everything else on there. And it’s not just the new original Netflix shows. As you already know (if you read my learning two weeks ago), I went back and started Friends (I finished season 1 last week. Only 216 episodes left). I started The X-Files, but have only seen about three or four episodes (22 minutes of Friends is way easier than 45 minutes of The X-Files).

Netflix has also brought back some of my favorites. They brought back Arrested Development, Wet Hot American Summer (as a series) and now Full(er) House! Netflix knows what they’re doing. Hulu tried to bring back The Mindy Project, but I’m not going to pay for Hulu just to see Mindy Lahiri and Doctor Castellano together (I don’t like them together, maybe because they were too mean to each other before. I don’t know what it is, but it makes me sick). I do miss Morgan and Dr. Peter though, and the British dude.

NBC even started a new streaming service, SeeSo, which has a lot of shows I want to watch but I don’t want to pay for. If I have cable why do I have to pay for more content from NBC? What the shit, Jack Donaghy, just let me watch what I want to watch.

I wish Netflix would bring back Pete and Pete. I never really understood that show, but I did love it. I’m sure if I saw it now I would either think it was great for reasons I was too young to understand back then, or I would think What the hell was wrong with me and everybody else who loved this show? (I still kind of want a Petunia tattoo though. How many Petunia tattoos do you think are out there?).

The best way to get a bit of all the good shows is to watch as many as you can and talk to friends about your shows and their shows. Of course, this is what always happens when comparing shows with friends:

FRIEND A
I’m watching Breaking Bad. You gotta watch it!

FRIEND B
No man, Walking Dead is where it’s at.

FRIEND A
Dude, Walter White is a G! He invented Blue Meth.

FRIEND B
Please, Rick Grimes is a supercop, who kills zombies and calls his son Coral.

FRIEND A
Sounds stupid.

FRIEND B
Walter White sounds like a tool.

 

Instead of fighting about which show is better, we can exchange summaries with each other and it’s like watching all the shows.

The secret to true happiness is just to tell yourself this one thing:
I will never watch every TV show, and I’m OK with that.

FRIENDS! My new favorite show…

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Last week I started watching NBC’s “the Friends” on Netflix. I’m now halfway through season one. I’ve seen many episodes of  “the Friends,” in my lifetime, but I have never seen them all in order. I know about a few things that happened on the show, but I have no idea when or what order they happened in (I have no “Friends” timeline).

One thing I learned after just a few episodes is that Ross is always a sad baby. Ross has never been happy for an entire episode [FACT!]. During the third episode I was excited for Ross, he hadn’t whined, complained or been a bummer yet, until he figured out that his childhood dog did not go live on a farm, but instead had died and it was all a big lie. Ross is sad. The end! (It’s not a spoiler if it happened over 10 years ago).

Someone told me, “he’s sad cause he just got a divorce,” but he should be happy. Being divorced is way better than being married to a lesbian – unless you’re also a lesbian, then being married to a lesbian would be awesome for you. However, Ross is not a lesbian, so why would he want to be married to one? Don’t worry Ross, I’m sure you’ll find someone else (I wonder who that could be?).

Phoebe has always been my favorite, and she will continue to be my favorite of the friends. She is silly, and I love it when she says “Oh!” when she finally gets something. I love her songs. Before I only knew about the song “Smelly Cat,” but already in half-a-season I’ve learned so many new songs. I do still love Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Monica and I guess Ross. This show is also filled with great 90’s cameos, including D.A.G. (David Allan Grier), Helen Hunt and Phoebe’s crappy sister Ursula.

Even the theme song from “Friends” is all about my life. (1) I don’t know what I’m doing. (2) I’m broke and my love life’s D.O.A. (3) I do have great friends who love me and are always there for me. The Rembrandts really know their stuff. I loved the “Friends” song so much when I was a kid I even had the Rembrandts tape (I’ll Be There For You was the only good song).

This show is great and I recommend it to anyone who has never watched it (or has only watched a bunch of random episodes like me). It’s full of jokes, and jokes that still hold up. Well, I gotta go. It’s time for bed, but I’m sure I can squeeze in one more episode before I go to sleep, maybe two.

Watch Friends you dummies, it’s on the Netflix! Everyone has Netflix. Stop wasting your time with this “Making a Murderer” crap, watch something happy.