Crystals, Witchcraft & Wizardry

Last month, my girlfriend and I moved into a new apartment. We both agreed that it would be a good idea to “Sage” the new place, since it was something we both had only heard of but never tried.

“Do we just order some sage from Amazon?” she asked me, but I thought that didn’t seem right. I told her we had to find a real witch or visit a Witchcraft & Wizardry shop to pick up some proper sage. Who knows where Amazon sage comes from?*

*Side Quest: I later searched for “Sage” on Amazon and it turns out there are many small businesses (possibly small witchcraft shops) providing it.
Still, nothing beats actually going to a witch store yourself.

After some light googling, I found a couple of options for Witchcraft (aka Metaphysical) shops all over Miami. I decided to visit one on US 1, right next to Grown (Ray Allen’s healthy food restaurant I have yet to visit). I really liked this shop, but I’m also excited to visit other local stores in the future and see what kind of vibes I get.

*Side Quest: Before visiting the witchcraft shop I had talked to a friend who is sort of an amateur witch herself about what exactly we needed to cleanse our new
apartment. She recommended both Sage and Palo Santo, one to reset
and the other to invite positive vibes. It was nice to show up to the
witchcraft shop with a little bit of knowledge.

After figuring out what we needed, I visited the shop. I chose this store due to convenience, after leaving a check up at the doctor (my first ever, but maybe you’ll hear about that in another post), this was on the way home. I spoke to a nice lady and learned a lot about Sage, Palo Santo and some other stuff too.

After figuring out exactly what we needed for the new apartment cleansing, I came across a whole section of crystals and elements. I began asking questions about those, and now I am somewhat of a crystal person. My journey began with purchasing a few crystals for my girlfriend and I to carry around in our backpacks.

The cool thing about becoming a crystal person is that you get to choose what to believe and what not to believe. It’s sort of like being a horoscope person.

*Side Quest: Horoscopes are funny because they just state a bunch of information hoping that you will see something you like and say, “Hey, that’s me!.” They also have
different variants, like sun and moon signs, that give you even more
options to choose from.

Crystals are kind of like horoscopes because each crystal has multiple “uses” or traits (or powers). I chose a few based on particular traits, while ignoring others. I recently talked to a friend about her crystal necklace, and she told me it’s not about believing in the crystals magic powers, but more the idea of it — like a positive thinking thing.

Here’s a character sheet I created for my portfolio
site back when I graduated the Miami Ad School.
Now, with the power of crystals, everything can be modified.

Being a crystal person is sort of like creating your own D&D character, but in real life. Carrying around (and wearing) crystals can add a few points to your daily Dexterity, Charisma, Insight, Wisdom and other character traits. It’s a fun way to edit your life’s character sheet.

*Side Quest: When it comes to religion I always thought it would be way more fun to believe in Greek Mythology. How cool is it to have a different god for each concept.
It’s almost like having different superheroes as your gods. Poseidon is like
Aquaman (DC) or Namor (Marvel). Thor is a god from Norse mythology —
another fun collection of gods and rulers.

Another thing I like about crystals is that I can make up any theory about my crystals and make it a real thing. I can even tell others about it (as long as they are not a certified witch or wizard).

I went back to the store last week and picked up a Lava Stone bracelet, because (1) I want to start wearing my stones to absorb more power, and (2) I’ve always wanted to become more of a bracelet person. Now that Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard is over — and Johnny won — it’s still cool to wear a bunch of bracelets like a pirate, right?

Yesterday, I went for a kayak ride on the open water. I would usually not wear any jewelry, other than my Apple Watch for kayaking, running or working out. I decided to keep my Lava Stone bracelet on to “recharge” it with the ocean water. That’s a thing I possibly made up, but now I feel like my Lava Stones are giving me more powers, so it also worked.


If you are another amateur crystal/stone person who would like to come up with cool facts and ideas about these things let me know. If you aren’t a crystal/stone person, have fun living your boring life.

ANIMALS = MACHINES (birds are planes)

You know what’s crazy? Birds can fly. Think of any time you ask another human this question, If you could have one superpower what would it be? Most people say the ability to fly. Creepy people say invisibility so they can be peeping toms and get away with it.

Birds have that ability (Not the peeping tom one). Birds can fly. Birds are basically living, breathing planes. The whole idea for planes was definitely stolen from birds.

The Wright Bros Conversation

(A super long time ago)

Joe Wright: Yo bro, how can we get to North Carolina, but like real fast.

Greg Wright: I don’t know Joe.

(GREG looks up to the sky. Sees birds flying.)

Greg Wright: What if… Naw, never mind. That’s stupid.

Joe Wright: The only stupid thing you can do is not tell me what you just thought, bro.

Greg Wright: Well, what if we could do… that?

(GREG points to the birds)

Joe Wright: Oh my god! What???

Greg Wright: I know I told you it’s stupid.

Joe Wright: Stupid? Greg, you’re a genius.

*And that’s kind of how we got planes. Because of the Wright Brothers and birds and one day thinking about transportation while in an open field.

**No research was done to make sure this is how the Wright Brothers history went down. This is just a hypothesis.

This got me thinking, can humans do anything cool like that? Birds can transform into planes (even though birds came first). 

I guess humans can run, but that’s just like walking — but a little faster. Birds can do both of those things, and FLY!

What we can do is turn into boats, or submarines. Humans can swim. And swimming is pretty cool, because it’s not just moving through the water like walking or running under water. You have to become sort of a machine. You have to propel yourself through the water, using one of a few different techniques.

There’s also many different ways to swim and that’s very groovy too. We have the freestyle, the breaststroke, the backstroke, the froggy one (like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible). 

Birds only really have one, well, maybe two ways of flying — flappy wings or gliding.

How do you think swimming was invented? Who was the first human to swim? Was some human stuck in the middle of open water with nowhere to go and just started trying some different techniques out? Did someone fall in a pool and swim to the edge, and then everyone was like, “Yo, what was that? Are you a machine?”

I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I guess I was just trying to say that “Swimming is Cool!”

I Beat Amazon!

For the past several years, anytime someone has asked a friend, “Hey where can I buy one of those?” The answer has been, “I don’t know man, check Amazon.” Everything is cheaper on Amazon, you get FREE super fast shipping (especially since we are all Prime members now), and you don’t have to bother any live humans — you just click a few buttons and your stuff will arrive either later today, tomorrow or the day after (anything longer than that is not worth your time).

The other great thing about Amazon is if you don’t like something you ordered you can easily send it back. And, if they try to make you pay for the return shipping, you can just change your answer to, “it’s your fault, not mine, Amazon!” and now your return shipping is FREE.

Beating Amazon

So, how did I beat Amazon? Well, I have beaten them before in a different way, and I have shared that story, but here’s a quick refresher. I had ordered a Nintendo Wii U (on Cyber Monday), but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep it or not. Next, I received a “lost in transit” message about that order, but it still somehow showed up to my door. So, I canceled my order and got to keep the Wii U for FREE. This is a totally different way of beating Amazon, and I’ve beaten them with “lost in transit” items a couple of times before. That just happened to be the biggest one.

This time I beat them on pricing. I was searching for a Kayak Captain’s hat (or straw hat). My sister has one that she always wear by Avid, so I first looked at those. When I asked her about her hat she told me that it had a tear and she had ordered a new one from a different brand, Hemlock Hat Co.

I was curious, so I checked out both Amazon and each hat makers site (Avid and Hemlock). Amazon has a terrible user interface (UI) when it comes to switching between versions of the same item — It opens a new page for each style/color, instead of simply changing the image. Because of this I stuck with online shopping on the Hemlock site, just to find the right model.

I found one I really liked and it was on sale. That’s when I stuck it in my cart. I went back to Amazon to check the price and the same style was almost fifteen freakin’ dollars more expensive. I thought that the difference may be added in shipping costs. Luckily, shipping was less than fifteen dollars ($9.00). In the end I purchased my hat from Hemlock’s website, and it came in a nice box with lots of cushion.

Some Cool Captain Kayak Photos

What We Learned

Not only did I beat Amazon’s price, or better yet Hemlock did, but I was happy to support the actual store and not give Amazon more money (we all give them enough money). Amazon is great for the consumer, but I don’t think it’s so great for the seller all the time. Sure, it gets their product out all over the world, but I’m pretty sure they take a big cut of sales. Plus, Amazon is always changing prices on everything and I’m sure when the prices go down it’s not great for the seller. 

Either way, whether you’re supporting Amazon or someone else, the world is full of a bunch of evil faceless corporations. So, does it really matter who you support? I guess when you can it feels better to support the smaller faceless business.