Has the Coronavirus infiltrated your dream world? For the most part my dreams haven’t contained much COVID yet (no masks or social distancing necessary). Most of my dreams have taken place in the past or possibly some alternate reality where this whole pandemic debacle hasn’t even happened (or maybe we had a real grown up president in my dreams who knew to listen to the smart people in the room and the whole thing has passed).

In my last dream, I discovered that I had a check for $1,500 from DMX (yes, that DMX the rapper AKA Earl Simmons). Maybe it came from one of his albums that I had owned
(It’s Dark and Hell is Hot? Flesh of my Flesh, Blood of my Blood? The Great Depression?) 

In my dream, I obviously went to the bank to check if this check was for real. I ran into a friend at the bank, helped start her car and from there the whole thing transformed into a murder mystery inside of the bank/haunted mansion (because now the bank had transformed into a haunted mansion). 

I never found out if that check from DMX was real or not. I definitely searched my room for it in the morning (Spoiler Alert! I found nothing but a few DMX CDs).
(…And then there was X, Grand Champ, The Great Depression)

I guess what I really wanted to say is, “Dreams are weird. Wear a mask and vote for Biden!”

-Also, I owned most of DMX’s discography, so maybe the dude does owe me a check.

New Shorts! (kind of…)


Last week I learned that my blue shorts I got a while ago that didn’t fit me at the time, finally fit me, so I wore them out. These shorts helped me realize that I have a lot of clothes that doesn’t fit me, yet. Mostly stuff that is too small for my large man body.

I started thinking why do I have all this clothes that doesn’t fit me? and I thought of a few reasons. The main reason is that I am usually too lazy to return things, so when I buy or receive clothes (as a gift) that doesn’t quite fit me, but almost does, I just keep it. I think, this will soon fit me.

When I do this it gives me a new goal in life, to fit into this clothes. It’s never really one of my main goals, it’s usually more of a long-term goal. It’s more like this will fit me, when it fits me. I’m not rushing into these new clothes, I still have a ton of old clothes that fits me right now. I’m preparing for the future, when I finally lose some weight.

Imagine losing a bunch of pounds (lbs), and one day you wake up and nothing fits you. All your shorts and pants just slide right off when you try them on. How are you supposed to go shopping for new pants, with no pants? My plan is when I start to fit into my smaller clothes that doesn’t fit right now (long-term goal clothes) I will go out in that clothes to buy smaller clothes, that will fit me later when I need to go shopping for even smaller clothes.

Whenever I wear this clothes for the first time, people ask if my shorts are new. I have to tell them, “No, they’re old, but I haven’t been able to fit into them until now. They have been sitting in my closet waiting for this wonderful day, where they get to go out and see the world.”

I think girls do this kind of thing on purpose, they buy clothes that doesn’t fit them in order to lose weight. For me it’s mostly about being lazy. I actually got some shorts as a gift that didn’t fit me, but they were about 10 sizes too small, because the hanger said one size, while the tag said a size that was 10 less than that. So, I went and exchanged those for a different pair in what I thought was my size (I was wrong). I was able to almost button up these shorts, and I had been running a lot, so I decided to keep them (because I am not going back to the store to make another exchange).

Now those shorts fit, and I was excited and I celebrated for a few seconds in my room by myself. Then I wore them for a whole day, and maybe this weekend I will wear them for a second time. Hopefully, I will soon fit into some of this other clothes I have that is too small for me.