There was a time when people were allowed to smoke cigarettes on airplanes — and they actually did it! Like all of the time. I think about this every few months and it still freaks me out.
I was on a plane a few years back (pre-COVID, but still not too long ago) and the arm rests still had ash trays built into them. They just happened to be glued shut.
A SHORT (BRIEFLY RESEARCHED) HISTORY LESSON
In the year 1990 smoking on aircrafts (to and from the US) was mostly prohibited. Pilots were still allowed to smoke in the cockpit. It wasn’t until Bill Clinton signed the Aviation Investment and Reform Act in the year 2000 that smoking on planes was completely banned. Some countries kept smoking on planes around until 2016 or later.
Imagine being on a plane today and witnessing another passenger pull out a lighter or match and lighting up a cigarette. That person would be tackled so fast just for pulling that thing out, and rightfully so. Planes are smelly enough as is, they don’t need the help of someone smoking a cigarette.
“SMOKING OR NON-SMOKING?”
There was also a time, not too long ago when you’d be asked this simple question at a restaurant, “Smoking or Non-Smoking?” Meaning, do you want to sit in the clean part or the nasty part of this fine establishment? And on a busy night with no reservation the “Smoking” section was where you’d end up.
When I was in college people would smoke cigarettes in bars. Today, I can wear the same pair of jeans for weeks visiting different bars and restaurants. Back then, if I wore my jeans to a smokey bar they’d be in the hamper that night and washed the next day. Plus, I’d have to shower before going to bed.
Hotels used to have “Smoking and Non-Smoking” rooms, and I’m pretty sure many of them still do. Some unknowingly, “Would you like to stay in a room that smells like we cleaned it or one that smells like we didn’t even have enough time to change the sheets?”
Thanks to my grandmother I’ve never been a fan of cigarettes. I’ve never tried one and I plan to never try one. I loved my grandma, but I hated the smell of her smoking in our house when she would come over. Luckily, she stopped smoking early on in my life.
Whenever I find someone who still smokes cigarettes it’s like I’m meeting a strange time traveler. Of course, everyone switched over to e-cigs and vapes by now. Years later, we’ll find out that everyone is getting some sort of computer virus in their bodies thanks to all the e-smoking.
Something I never really thought about but I do almost anytime I go to Publix in the middle of the day when I haven’t had lunch yet and I’m too hungry to wait until I get home — I always buy some croquetas from the Publix bakery.
SIDE NOTE: For you gringos a croqueta is a fried breaded cylinder usually containing ham inside and some other stuff too. I’ve heard someone call it a fritter before. They can also be filled with chicken, fish, cheese, chorizo, mac & cheese and all sorts of crazy stuff. I would call it the Cuban cousin to the Italian Mozzarella stick.
I’ve always been a ham croqueta person. Ham is the original. If you order a croqueta anywhere you will 99% of the time be given a ham croqueta, no questions asked. If the establishment you are at has chicken, fish, cheese or other types of croquetas they will either ask you, “What type of croqueta?” or you will have to specify, “I want a croqueta de pollo.” (Spanish for chicken croqueta).
What I do at Publix bakery to make my mid-day snack into a fun game is I usually order a few original croquetas (aka HAM) and one of either chicken or cheese (sometimes one of each). They all get thrown into the same bag and since all croquetas look about the same from the outside, it’s a fun guessing game.
The Publix bakery person usually tries to separate them with some fancy bakery paper, but that doesn’t really work because they are getting tossed around all over the bag. Also, I’m going to eat these while driving so I will not look in the bag to see how they are separated.
So, once I leave Publix and I’m driving home or to my next destination I get to play a little game I call CROQUETA ROULETTE. I stick my hand in the bag and grab one at a time. Next, I take a bite not really thinking about what’s going to be inside and I’m surprised each time.
Here’s my croqueta bag from yesterday’s game.
Yesterday I ate the cheese one first. I had ordered three ham and one cheese, so the game ended on that first bite. It was still was and always is a delicious game to play.
So, the next time you find yourself at Publix (if you’re in Florida) order some croquetas (if you’re in South Florida), and play a round of CROQUETA ROULETTE (if you’re in the car).
You won’t regret it. If you’re not in Florida, find some kind of dumpling place that will let you order single dumplings and try DUMPLING ROULETTE. Maybe a FILLED DONUT ROULETTE. There are many ways to play this game.
Back in college I took a class on hospitality and customer service for some reason. In this class we read the book Raving Fans by Sheldon Bowles and Ken Blanchard. The book’s message was telling companies/brands to have great customer service so that they have “raving fans” rather than customers.
Let me start off by saying that I am not a bamboozler. I do not lie to get free stuff. The stories below are completely true and this is a teaching moment for you — my fans. Only use this method of reaching out to brands/companies if you had a less than wonderful experience.
Customer Experiences
Have you ever had a bad experience with a product or service? Maybe a slightly inconvenient experience? We all have and I’m here to tell you that as long as it’s a small accident you don’t have to go public with it. Don’t be like Topanga’s husband who tried to say there were shrimp tails in his cereal when they were probably just funny shaped sugar strips (I actually didn’t keep up with this story so I have no idea what they ended up being).
Most companies today have a Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and possibly multiple social media profiles. They’re mostly run by ad agency interns. This is why when something goes wrong I find a company’s Twitter profile and send them a DM (Direct Message). It’s also good to send a picture, when possible.
This is the story of three different customer experiences I had with three different brands — one bad, one slightly inconvenient and one that I’m not even sure affected me in any sort of way. It’s also a story of redemption and how these three companies stepped up and admitted they were wrong and made it up to me.
THE BAD: FRESH STEAKS
I shop at The Fresh Market weekly and I have stated this before in other posts. Earlier this month I bought two steaks (Filet Mignon) to make for dinner for my girlfriend and myself. It was Easter weekend, I purchased them on Friday and by Sunday they had transformed into rotten, ugly zombie meat. I had to toss them.
I’m not really sure how long Steak should keep in the fridge, I usually freeze them if I’m not cooking and eating them within one or two days. I would guess two to three days would be the max.
My next visit to the Fresh Market I asked someone in the meat department how long a Filet Mignon should last in the fridge, they told me a whole week — 7 days! I thought that was a crazy thing to say, but instead I just said, “Sure, ok.” and nodded my head.
I didn’t want to be a Karen and talk to the manager of the store, although I have met him and he’s a nice dude. Instead I went to Twitter and DM-ed the Fresh Market directly.
I also mentioned that I was told that a steak would keep fresh in the fridge for up to one week. They immediately made things right and sent me a $25 gift card. The two steaks were probably somewhere between $10 and $20, so I think this was a good job by them.
Thank you Karla!
At no point was I going to stop going to Fresh Market, it’s still my favorite grocery store. And even after having this and a few other small problems from time to time, they have always been great about making it up to me.
THE SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENT: WHERE’S MY BOLOGNA, OSCAR?
The second experience was with a classic Lunchables meal (Bologna and Cheese). I do eat more Lunchables than someone in their 30s should eat, but Lunchables are always a quick, easy and delicious meal.
There I was enjoying my Lunchables cracker sandwiches. Yes, I double up and instead of making six one layer cracker stackers I make three sandwiches instead with two of each item.
I was on my last cracker sandwich when I realized that there had only been five slices of Bologna this whole time instead of the usual six. My last cracker sandwich was a disappointment.
Cracker + Cheese + Meat + Cheese + Cracker.
Yes, it was still good but I wasn’t satisfied ending my lunch(able) on an incomplete sandwich. I went to Twitter.
I mentioned a FREE Nintendo Switch there because until December of 2020 Lunchables was holding a free Nintendo Switch contest which I entered multiple times. This is the reason why I’ve eaten so many Lunchables recently. Also, I probably would have eaten the same amount of Lunchables without a contest.
No Nintendo Switch… but a nice letter and $3 coupon.
Lunchables sent me a nice letter and a coupon for $3 off of a Lunchables to make up for my incomplete lunch(able) that day. I hope Lunchables don’t cost more than $3? Either way it doesn’t matter, this coupon has expired since I was holding onto it just for this post. Oops.
I guess I should just frame the coupon and put it up on the wall now that it’s expired. This will show people my friendship with the Oscar Mayer company.
THE I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO CALL IT: NOT ENOUGH M&M’S
The last instance wasn’t really a problem at all. I was truly just informing the Keebler elves that I had purchased a bag of Keebler M&M cookies and every cookie in the bag either had one or two M&M’s only.
I have eaten tons of one or two M&M cookies in my day. It’s usually only a few of the cookies that don’t have the proper amount of M&M’s. When it’s a small percentage of the cookies that are missing M&M’s, it makes them special. When the whole bag has zero cookies with the proper three M&M’s, something has gone completely wrong.
I felt it was my duty to inform the Keebler elves of their mistake. I didn’t want other people to go M&M-less too.
My message to the Keebler elves. They must have a strong wifi signal in that tree, they got back to me right away.
Even though I wasn’t trying to get them to send me anything, the Keebler elves still sent me not one, but two coupons for their family of products. These just came in the other day so let’s hope I use them before they expire.
These are just three small experiences I’ve had like this of many. I’ve reached out to many companies with feedback and complaints and have usually received some help . I’m still a fan of these three companies. I will continue to shop at the Fresh Market weekly, and I have many Keebler Elf cookies and Lunchable to eat in my lifetime.
I know I once had the idea of writing a learning about Elevator etiquette/behavior. I also have a lot of thoughts about elevators in general and how strange they are. But today, I’m here to talk about one of my problems with elevators: dealing with other humans in elevators.
I’ve ridden many elevators (or lifts, if you’re British) in my day. I’ve always been the type of person that doesn’t want to talk to a stranger on an elevator ride. Yes, I shared a up-and-down box-cart ride with you for a few seconds, but you don’t have to tell me “good day,” or “have a nice one” or anything of the sort because of it.
I won’t be mad if you just leave me in the elevator with my thoughts once you’ve reached your destination. And if we reach my destination first I don’t think you should be mad if I don’t say anything on my way out.
I get nervous about what to say, and when I feel like I have to say something to the person I usually just walk out and scream, “Bye!” at them. It’s people who have elevator catch phrases that I’m concerned about. People who say things like, “Have a good one,” or “Take it easy,” or even “See ya later!” Ok, “see ya later,” is a very strange one. You don’t know if that’s true. You may not see me later on, you may not even see me ever again in your life.
Now with the COVID-19 elevators have gotten a whole lot weirder. There’s new rules to riding an elevator. There’s a new cap on the number of people. Remember the simple days, when it was a weight limit and you just had to hope that the elevator wouldn’t beep or shake. Also, everyone could just pack into the elevator like sardines.
Today, there is a two to four person limit (on the elevators I’ve seen). There’s also a mask rule, so it’s harder to talk to people (of course some people are idiots and don’t think they have to wear a mask, but that’s a different story altogether).
I’ve even added an additional wild card. I now wear my Bluetooth ear buds for elevator rides, grocery shopping and pretty much anywhere else I want to avoid talking to people. And it always works. Or at least if anyone has tried to talk to me, I haven’t noticed. And that’s the same as it working to me.
I will continue to use my ear buds in public well after the pandemic…
I very much remember the commercials for Klondike bars as a kid, “What would you do-oh-ooh for a Klondike bar.” If you don’t remember them that’s ok, here’s one from the year I was born (1986):
Strange Klondike commercial from the year I was born.
Side Note: I also remember there was a big shaggy sheepdog in my neighborhood named Klondike who gave the best big shaggy hugs. We’d be outside playing basketball or rollerblading (or whatever kids were doing back in the 90s) and we’d always stop whatever we were doing to give Klondike a big smelly, shaggy hug. He was a big sweet boy.
I have always loved ice cream, but I never really got into Klondike bars in my childhood. Maybe the strange ads turned me off of them? Oh, wait, I have to complete a task for the right to enjoy one of these? No thanks, I’ll just get some regular ice cream from the store, instead. It wasn’t until way later on in life (most likely at a friend’s house) that I was finally able to try one.
I first tried the regular chocolate shell with vanilla ice cream inside. It was fine, but the market was full of competition in the milk chocolate shell/vanilla ice cream game. Haagen Daaz had their “hand-dipped” bars, Dove had their mini tunnel shaped ones, Blue Bell and Blue Bunny probably had something similar.
(Cut to the pandemic) I’ve been doing groceries for my parents each week, and I always like to go for what’s on sale when I can (It’s fun to see how much money you saved at the end of grocery shopping. It’s like a built-in mini-game). Klondikes were recently buy one, get one free (for a couple of weeks, actually). So, I got some Oreo, Heath, Reese’s (I’ve tried a few different flavors and I plan on trying a few more). And after trying a few different versions, I can now say that I am a big fan of Klondike bars and what they have to offer.
Now, going back to the commercial, I don’t think I would do anything crazy for a Klondike bar. They are delicious, but I would still just pay a couple dollars for one or a few of them. I would possibly make a trade, using an item I don’t really care for, for one.
Maybe trade in some other treats? But other than just buying it or trading for it, I don’t think there’s much else I would do for a Klondike bar. I do really enjoy them, I just wouldn’t trade a functional kidney for one or anything unnecessary.
Has the Coronavirus infiltrated your dream world? For the most part my dreams haven’t contained much COVID yet (no masks or social distancing necessary). Most of my dreams have taken place in the past or possibly some alternate reality where this whole pandemic debacle hasn’t even happened (or maybe we had a real grown up president in my dreams who knew to listen to the smart people in the room and the whole thing has passed).
In my last dream, I discovered that I had a check for $1,500 from DMX (yes, that DMX the rapper AKA Earl Simmons). Maybe it came from one of his albums that I had owned (It’s Dark and Hell is Hot? Flesh of my Flesh,Blood of my Blood? The Great Depression?)
In my dream, I obviously went to the bank to check if this check was for real. I ran into a friend at the bank, helped start her car and from there the whole thing transformed into a murder mystery inside of the bank/haunted mansion (because now the bank had transformed into a haunted mansion).
I never found out if that check from DMX was real or not. I definitely searched my room for it in the morning (Spoiler Alert! I found nothing but a few DMX CDs). (…And then there was X, Grand Champ, The Great Depression)
I guess what I really wanted to say is, “Dreams are weird. Wear a mask and vote for Biden!”
-Also, I owned most of DMX’s discography, so maybe the dude does owe me a check.
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