Doing Too Much

A Short Story:

Back when I was a student at the Miami Ad School, they’d bring in a weekly “Industry Hero” (someone working in advertising or something adjacent) to do a sort of Ted Talk for the student body. Afterwards, the person would stick around to teach the “Heroes” class, where they’d assign a week-long project based on their specific area of expertise. Most of these “Heroes” were former Ad School alum.

We had a few professional photographers as guest “Heroes.” I noticed that most of them used Canon cameras and products, and so did most of the students. I had a Nikon. The Miami Ad School was sort of like going to Hogwarts, but instead of visiting Diagon Alley for a wand, animal companion and magical broomstick, you’d instead go to Best Buy for a MacBook, Adobe Suite and a DSLR camera.

Back to the point, there was one “Hero” photographer who was an older gentleman one week and he happened to use Nikon products. One student asked, “Why do you use Nikon over Canon?” As if he were using the wrong camera. His answer was great, he said, “Nikon makes lenses and telescopes. Canon makes printers. Would you rather take pictures with a telescope or a printer?” As a fellow Nikon-user I thought that was a pretty sweet answer. All of the Canon folks thought the guy was a big D-hole.

I chose Nikon because (years earlier) looking at DSLR cameras with my friend we asked, “What’s the difference?” We were told, “Nikon is better for photos of stuff, while Canon is better for people.” Is that true? I don’t know, but I do know that I prefer to take photos of stuff (mountains, outdoors, oceans and cities), because any time you take a picture of a person they immediately say, “Let me see,” and “Uh, I hate it!”

Animals and babies are cool to take pictures of because they don’t do that. So, why am I telling you this story? I started thinking about companies and brands that work in multiple industries, and how it always seems weird when seeing a company’s name on some product knowing what unrelated product they also create.

Too Many Things:

For example, Yamaha makes musical instruments, but also motor vehicles*. When I was a kid there was a car company named Daewoo, at the same time my friend’s TV in his room was made by Daewoo. Dove makes chocolates and soaps — ok, I googled it and those are two different Doves, but it’s still confusing — it would be odd if one Dove product went inside and one went outside of your body, right?

*After some more googling I found out that Yamaha Music and Motors are two separate companies, but originated and are owned from the same mothership.

At the movie theater the other day I noticed the urinal pad read “Royal Company” and I thought I hope that’s not what RC in RC Cola stands for, because I don’t want my urinal pads coming from the same factory as my soda. I don’t drink RC Cola, but if I did and this were true it would have most definitely changed my soda drinking habits.

There are companies like Sony and Microsoft that have gaming consoles, computers, TVs and all types of divisions. Samsung makes TVs, appliances and all sorts of electronics. These are all in the same sector so that doesn’t really bother me.

I started thinking of people I know, especially fellow castmates from my improv theater. We all have different jobs and backgrounds, but that’s what makes us funny when we’re put on stage together to make stuff up. We have lawyers, accountants, bankers, firefighters, teachers, designers, writers and more… No Doctors though, doctors are never funny. If you have a funny doctor, you need a new doctor. Ken Jeong (aka Mr Chang – Community and Leslie Chow – The Hangover movies) was a funny doctor once and he had to leave that profession behind to become a successful actor/comedian instead.

I for one wear many different hats each day. I work as an accountant during the day, I freelance as a writer, copywriter, photographer and graphic designer sometimes. I write and create content for my two blog/sites (this one and myVGBC.com) each week. I also sometimes make ice cream, banana pudding and sweet treats to sell to people (Ferdi’s Ice Cream — returning soon?). You can also catch me on stage at Just the Funny making people laugh every once in a while. Do any of these take away from the others? I don’t think so.

While multiple separate companies can be owned by one singular brand/company, that doesn’t mean the same two people are working on each product. It just means that the executives (aka Overlords) running the show are watching over everything. These smaller companies are just operating under one bigger umbrella, but separately. As long as you trust one of those companies, I’m pretty sure you can give the others a chance. At least until they prove you wrong. We are all more than just one thing, and I guess companies and brands can be too.

The main thing though is to definitely keep the toilet stuff and food stuff separate. Urinal pad and soda manufacturing don’t belong in the same building, warehouse, city or even state… Ever!

OLYMPIC SPONSORS (More Sports!)

Rio Olympics CroatiaFL title

Last week, someone posted this article on the Facebook:

“TEAM USA is Sponsored by Junk Food: The Garbage Olympians Wouldn’t Eat”

You can read the article here, if you want. Go ahead, I’ll wait…

If you didn’t read the article, I will tell you what it’s about. It basically states how the TEAM USA Olympic sponsors are brands like Coke, McDonald’s and all these garbage salespeople who make the delicious poison we put in our bodies every day.

I’ve been saying this for a while, but not about the Olympics. Think of any sporting event you have ever been to here in the States (that’s what non-US people call it, “The States”). What did you eat or drink at these sporting events? Probably burgers, chicken fingers, pizza, all the delicious and fried things. You probably washed it all down with an ice cold Coke and a smile, or a Pepsi or some other liquid garbage.

*Side Note:
Lately, I like to stick to Sprite, 7-UP and Sierra Mist because they’re clear. Sometimes I add some grenadine to make a Shirley Temple. It seems like there are less toxins in a clear soda, or maybe they’re just better at hiding it. Maybe it’s all in those tiny bubbles?

*Back to the other thing:
If you’re over 21 you probably drink a bunch of beer at sporting events and before going inside during what we call “Tailgating.” Everyone likes to get wasted on beer and scream at their team. Some like to scream at the other team or their fans. That’s how fights happen and people get kicked out, or banned for life.

Sometimes you don’t get to go to the game, instead you’re watching from home on your TV. What do you see? A bunch of commercials from sponsors, 90% of which are all junk food and beer. Maybe sports should be sponsored by the stuff the athletes eat and drink. Not only are you watching other people exercise while you sit on your lazy butt, you’re also consuming an endless amount of calories while they are trying to burn almost half of that amount.

That’s just my opinion on sports and sponsorships, now here’s what I thought after reading this article. I know what food I should be eating, I know what’s really good for me, but I choose to eat the bad stuff instead. It’s a choice I have to live with each and every day. Maybe I should have eaten a salad for lunch the other day, but Jimmy Jamz sounded way better.

Some days, or just some meals I decide to eat a little better and that’s great. But what is “better” to me, still isn’t good to an Olympian. This guy named many things saying, “Why would I ever put this in my body?” I try not to put things like McDonald’s and Taco Bell in my body. My thirty year old body can’t handle it like my 16 year old body could.

Then there’s other things he talks about that I think of as an “OK” option. Like Greek yogurt, which he says is horrible, unless you eat plain ass Greek yogurt. Have you tried plain Greek yogurt? That stuff is gross! You need the vanilla and granola. (A few weeks ago I discovered the magic that is, Yogurt and Granola. Of course, I’ve been using vanilla yogurt and granola with chocolate chips in it — Not so healthy choice, but it is tasty.)

What I learned from this article is that I could never be an Olympic athlete. Not even for a week. I don’t even think I could eat that clean for 24 hours. Next week, I’ll choose one day to try to eat like an Olympian for 24 hours, let’s see how long it takes for me to buy some E.L. Fudge cookies and eat the whole package (I ate a whole package from Sunday night – Monday afternoon this week, but they were my favorite ones).

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Next week I’ll update you with my “Eat Like an Olympian Challenge” and how far it goes… I’m aiming to start on Monday, but most diets usually start on Monday and end by Wednesday at the latest.