ANIMALS = MACHINES (birds are planes)

You know what’s crazy? Birds can fly. Think of any time you ask another human this question, If you could have one superpower what would it be? Most people say the ability to fly. Creepy people say invisibility so they can be peeping toms and get away with it.

Birds have that ability (Not the peeping tom one). Birds can fly. Birds are basically living, breathing planes. The whole idea for planes was definitely stolen from birds.

The Wright Bros Conversation

(A super long time ago)

Joe Wright: Yo bro, how can we get to North Carolina, but like real fast.

Greg Wright: I don’t know Joe.

(GREG looks up to the sky. Sees birds flying.)

Greg Wright: What if… Naw, never mind. That’s stupid.

Joe Wright: The only stupid thing you can do is not tell me what you just thought, bro.

Greg Wright: Well, what if we could do… that?

(GREG points to the birds)

Joe Wright: Oh my god! What???

Greg Wright: I know I told you it’s stupid.

Joe Wright: Stupid? Greg, you’re a genius.

*And that’s kind of how we got planes. Because of the Wright Brothers and birds and one day thinking about transportation while in an open field.

**No research was done to make sure this is how the Wright Brothers history went down. This is just a hypothesis.

This got me thinking, can humans do anything cool like that? Birds can transform into planes (even though birds came first). 

I guess humans can run, but that’s just like walking — but a little faster. Birds can do both of those things, and FLY!

What we can do is turn into boats, or submarines. Humans can swim. And swimming is pretty cool, because it’s not just moving through the water like walking or running under water. You have to become sort of a machine. You have to propel yourself through the water, using one of a few different techniques.

There’s also many different ways to swim and that’s very groovy too. We have the freestyle, the breaststroke, the backstroke, the froggy one (like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible). 

Birds only really have one, well, maybe two ways of flying — flappy wings or gliding.

How do you think swimming was invented? Who was the first human to swim? Was some human stuck in the middle of open water with nowhere to go and just started trying some different techniques out? Did someone fall in a pool and swim to the edge, and then everyone was like, “Yo, what was that? Are you a machine?”

I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I guess I was just trying to say that “Swimming is Cool!”

WWJD? (What Would Justin Do?)


This week I learned that Justin Timberlake is the coolest Motha(Shut yo Mouth!) on the planet Earth (and it makes me sad that I will never be as cool as him). I learned this when I watched the VMAs on Monday (Yes, the VMAs took place on Sunday, but I had better stuff to do, so I recorded it and watched Monday night).

I did see the Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke Performance that everyone was ranting about this week, but I’m not going to talk about that. All I have to say is that I’m pretty sure Alan Thicke and Billy Rae Cyrus will get together this week (if they haven’t already), to talk about how to punish their children for their actions against the American people.

Back to JT. I saw JT’s performance and that was the only good thing that happened during the VMAs (other than Vanessa Bayer introducing Miley Cyrus, as Miley Cyrus).

Everyone was going crazy about the N’SYNC reunion, which wasn’t even a minute long, but it was pretty cool. The rest of JT’s performance around the whole Barclays Center is what made me realize how cool JT really is.

I always liked JT as a person, but I never really cared much for his music (until now). When I saw his performance at the VMAs I was mad that I didn’t go see him and the Jigga man at Dolphin Stadium a few weeks ago.

Although I will never be as cool as JT, that doesn’t mean I can’t try. From now on my new life philosophy will be WWJD (What Would Justin Do). Anytime I am going to do anything, I will think “WhatWouldJustinDo?” and I will do that instead.

I also learned (along with the rest of the world) that the lady who sings on “Same Love” with Macklemore is actually a white lady.