Remember Arm Wrestling…

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Remember when arm wrestling was a thing in movies? There was a time where most movies had a scene (usually at a bar) where one character had to arm wrestle another person (usually a giant strong dude) for information, some form of goods or just to prove themselves. This was in the 80s and 90s.

Some companies were dedicated to making specialty arm wrestling tables where you’d strap in your elbow and grab a small handle with your non-wrestling hand to have a stable arm wrestling match.

These tables are completely useless for any other activity. You can’t put snacks
on a table with all of these arm wrestling pillows… it’s just stupid!

Arm wrestling was even a thing you would see on real TV sometimes (like how you see cornhole tournaments, grocery bagging championships and cup stacking competitions today on ESPN). There was an arm wrestling league where people would arm wrestle each other in tournaments to see who had the strongest dominant arm.

Side Note: I actually looked it up and WAL, aka the World Armwrestling League is still a thing and there’s a Buffalo Wild Wings Open, so I guess it’s time we all boycott Buffalo Wild Wings?

I bet becoming the arm wrestling world champ is much easier as a lefty — less competition.

I’m not saying we should bring back the practice of arm wrestling, in fact, I think the exact opposite is true. I hope I never have to see another arm wrestling match in a movie ever again. If I see two people trying to arm wrestle in a bar I’m leaving that bar and I will never return.

Arm wrestling is a stupid thing of the past and it should be made illegal and forever banned in the entire world. I’m sorry if you’re reading this and you happen to be a professional arm wrestler, because that means you’ve wasted your life and you’re just realizing that right now as you read this.

So, in conclusion, Arm wrestling sucks. Why not be a full-body wrestler instead? Well, not a “real” Olympic wrestler because that’s boring to watch, be in the WWE and have a fun backstory. Have a cool finishing move that doesn’t make sense, but people are still afraid of it. Get your hands on that championship belt.

Or, if instead you don’t want to be any type of wrestler that’s ok too. Just keep doing whatever it is you were doing before you read this.

Thanks for your time, bye bye.

I Got VAXXED! (…and so can you)

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This week I got my first and only dose of the COVID vaccine — and I feel great! I went with Johnson & Johnson because I didn’t want to have to make a second appointment and drag this thing out.

I have to admit that I did tell a small lie, in order to sign up early. I was able to sign up before April 5th by saying that I was an educator. But I am sort of an educator, because I educate all of you on the internet with my learnings and video game writings.

I did schedule my appointment for after April 5th so I wasn’t actually cheating, it was more of a small fib (or loophole). I knew that they wouldn’t ask for any teacher ID or proof by the time my appointment rolled around (some friends even told me they weren’t asked for any proof when getting their early vaccines).

My appointment was for 10AM on Wednesday at a Walmart Neighborhood Market (which basically means a Walmart that’s just a grocery and pharmacy). It was much less hectic than the Super Walmarts I’m used to from college.

What I expected was to spend at least an hour or more in a few lines with many people. I brought my Nintendo Switch, my bluetooth headphones, my back-up iPhone charger. I was ready for anything.

In the end, the whole thing only took about one hour, and that’s because I got there 20 minutes early. Also, you have to stay for 15 minutes after getting the shot to make sure you don’t grow a third arm or anything weird like that. The only people there for the 10AM appointment were me and three others. I started wondering if people are just not getting vaccinated?

I know many people are scared of getting the vaccine. They’re afraid of the side effects. I’m here to tell you that I did not get sick or suffer any side effects, and neither did my girlfriend (who helped get me the appointment). Sure, I got tired in the afternoon, but I blame that on my White Chocolate Iced Mocha and the cake pop and scone I had to celebrate my vaccination.

When they first announced that Krispy Kreme was giving away a FREE donut to people who got the vaccine a few weeks ago, I thought, Hey, that’s not fair! The people who deserve FREE donuts are the ones who can’t get vaccined yet. I was wrong, because right after getting the vaccine I decided to end my “healthy-ish” week of eating (and the rest of the week was a free-for-all of carbs and sugar).

I’ll get back into the better eating next week, I hope. The main reason I wanted to write about my experience getting the vaccine is to tell everyone to go get the vaccine. Whichever one you choose to get, it doesn’t matter as long as you get it.

Don’t be an anti-Vaxxer and once you get the vaccine it’s still important to wear your mask and it will be for some time. But the sooner we all get vaccinated the sooner this will all be over and we’ll be able to enjoy indoor activities and all the things we miss.

Go here: www.vaccinefinder.org and find out where you could get vaccinated.

Leaving Facebook

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Sometimes I feel like I should just leave Facebook and social media for good. Ever since I was at the Miami Ad School and I learned all about how advertisers and marketers are using our information from social media sites to serve us extremely targeted ads and content I thought, maybe I shouldn’t be here anymore…

Last year, “The Social Dilemma” came out on Netflix. Although it was a bit exaggerated with the re-creations and profile tracking, it was still a pretty good representation of what these companies are doing with all our data. They are using our Face ID cams to figure out how long we look at certain ads and posts, they are watching our every move on the internet, and now they’re even showing us only things they think we will “like” which is how people get caught up believing in QAnon, the earth being flat and other dumb stuff like that…

Of course, working in the ad industry made it nearly impossible to not be on social media. As a digital copywriter, I had to pay attention to what was going on social media and online platforms. I did meet a few people in advertising who weren’t on Facebook (or any social media) and it was strange that they worked in this business (usually on the data gathering side) and decided not to have their data collected.

Social media is highly addictive and I know this because I’ve deleted the Facebook app and Twitter app from my iPhone quite a few times. Both apps are now back on my iPhone, but when they weren’t my screen time was way down. Our phones are taking over our lives. Humans have become super dependent on smartphones and technology. This is both good and bad at the same time. It’s good that we have all the knowledge in the world right in our pockets. However, if the zombie apocalypse ever does happen and the internet goes down, we will all become useless idiots.

Back in the day, my dad used to draw me little maps when I was driving somewhere new. Older generations can still get around without using their phones for directions. The rest of us are lost in life. When driving back to Miami from New York with my college roommate in 2012, we picked up paper maps from AAA (since it was a free service included with my membership). We were going to attempt to drive all the way back home using real maps, like people used to do. That idea quickly went out the window (with a bag full of maps) in the first minutes of our road trip. We had no idea how to find out where we were on the map (without the little GPS triangle). Even at the mall the mall map always tells you, “You are here.”

I plug my destination into my iPhone GPS, even when I’m going home from somewhere I’ve been to hundreds of times before. Maybe I just want Apple to be aware in case something happens to me? (I don’t want to end up being another Amber/Silver alert on your iPhone). I also like to race the clock and try to beat Apple’s predicted “arrival time.”

It was my birthday recently, and I realized that my birthday is the main reason why I can’t leave Facebook. Back in middle school, I used to know all of my friends’ phone numbers — their home phone numbers — by heart. I still know everyone in my 8th grade class’s home phone number. Our neighborhood had a simple system where every number started with the same three digits, so we only had to memorize the last four — 361-XXXX (it was a time before area codes).

Today, everyone’s number is saved in our cell phones. If I met you after high school, I do not know your phone number. If I lose my iPhone along with all of my contacts tomorrow I would lose about 90% of my friends, forever. I would even lose my girlfriend — Sorry, bye bye Boba… (I had to look up her number on my phone the other day at Walgreens to pick something up for her).

This is the same for birthdays. Back in middle school, maybe even high school you knew your friends’ birthdays. I know many of my oldest friends’ birthdays or around when to expect their birthday in the year. But, we’ve all gotten lazy. Now we let Facebook tell us when it’s someone’s birthday. And we all had those stupid friends who would change their birthday on Facebook just to see which friends didn’t know their real birthday (If you changed your birthday on Facebook to trick your friends, then YOU are the jerk).

If you don’t have Facebook nowadays who’s going to even know when it’s your birthday? You’re stuck going around telling your friends and co-workers, “Oh, by the way, today is my birthday.” You’re not going to get any cake or presents like that.

If you don’t have a Facebook account on your birthday you’re only getting a “happy birthday, love mom” text and possibly some emails from your dentist, your gym and whatever big corporations know your birthday (because they are tracking all of your info). If you’re lucky you may even get some Nintendo Bucks in an email.

I’m stuck with Facebook because of my birthday, but also because if I didn’t have a Facebook I wouldn’t have a place to share these posts with you… so you’re welcome!

The History of Face ID (according to me)

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When the iPhone first introduced Face ID in 2017 it was the coolest thing ever (to some people). Unlocking your iPhone felt like being an international spy or living in the distant future. Apple and many other tech companies started off with fingerprint scanning, but when that became the norm they had to step it up.

Unofficial Apple Meeting Transcript (2016) 

TIM: What if we can use their faces as a fingerprint?

BOB: What? Like a face print?

TIM: Yes, but don’t call it that.

SHIELA: What about Print Face.

BOB: Face Reader?

SHIELA: Open face???

TIM: I hate all of those.

SHIELA: Face ID?

TIM: Yes, thank you Shiela! Face ID! Make it happen nerds…

Now, in 2020 and 2021 the face recognition technology has become slightly obsolete. Not all the time, but most of the time thanks to the pandemic. Now that we’re all wearing masks we’ve gone back to entering our pins and being forced to remember our hundreds of saved passwords. It’s madness.

The sad part is that Apple took away the fingerprint reader from our iPhones, so now we’re forced to enter our pins instead (like it’s the early 2010s). We’ve regressed not only one but two generations to entering pin codes.

I don’t understand how my iPhone recognizes my face with and without glasses on. Each time I unlock my iPhone using my face I try to stump it by making a different silly face, but it always recognizes me somehow (and I know many of you do the same). This is why I don’t understand how it doesn’t know who I am when a mask is covering the lower third of my face? There’s still two thirds of my face for you to read iPhone!

Disney is now testing out face recognition software to enter the parks, but again we’re still wearing masks. At first I thought maybe they were having trouble with imposters pretending to be their friends who are passholders, but they already have our fingerprints (and I’m guessing it’s hard to fake that, unless once again you’re some kind of international spy).

I’m starting to think this whole Face ID and facial recognition software craze is just a ploy for all of these big companies to sell more of our information (aka our faces) to advertisers everywhere. We should have never given Apple our faces, but now it’s too late, they have everything and soon our world will become some dystopian Cyberpunk future.

Until then — Good luck, everyone…

Ernest Vs Madea: Is Madea the Ernest of this Generation?

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I remember watching every single Ernest movie as a kid. And I’m pretty sure I watched them all at the same friend’s house. Looking back now, Jim Varney did a whole lot of stuff in his lifetime, before playing Slinky Dog in Toy Story 1 and 2.

Most Ernest movies used the same formula for their titles: “Ernest goes to _______” or some kind of version of that. It’s as if whatever movie studio was behind these films knew that the country was obsessed with this character and we’d watch him do pretty much anything. I say country because I don’t think the appeal of the Ernest P. Worrell made it past America (but I could be wrong).

Cut to 20 years later, and Tyler Perry is basically using the same formula for his famous, beloved character, Madea. I’m not saying these characters are one and the same, but there are a few similarities in their stories. Madea and Ernest have even visited a few of the same locations in their on-screen lives.

Humble Beginnings:

Ernest and Madea both embarked on different journeys to the big screen, but they were both not intentionally created for film.

Ernest started out in these “Hey Vern” commercials before getting his own TV series. The character was created by Jim Varney and an ad agency for some local commercials. Ernest was so well-received that he was featured in ads for everything (some national), before finally becoming part of a huge movie franchise (the ECU, or Ernest Cinematic Universe).

An early Ernest Burger Ad

Madea began as a stage character, loosely based on Tyler Perry’s mother and aunt. She was a way for him to pay homage to these two important women from his life. Tyler Perry played Madea in many stage plays, and the character became a huge hit. The next step was obviously to adapt the character for the screen, but Perry probably didn’t expect Madea to become the star of a huge blockbuster movie franchise.

On-stage Madea

John Cherry III was the ad exec who created the Ernest character (with the help of Jim Varney). Cherry also took Ernest to Hollywood, writing and directing the Ernest films. Madea was created entirely by Tyler Perry though, who not only played the character on stage and on the big screen, but also wrote, produced and directed many of the films himself.

Stuck in Character:

Jim Varney had become interested in theater from a young age. He even had some big on-stage roles as a teen. Varney was actually a classically-trained actor who performed in many Shakespearean plays. He had some other roles, but was mainly remembered for his portrayal of Ernest P. Worrell.

Watch Jim Varney do some “Serious Acting” alongside the great Thomas Lennon.

Along with the Madea franchise, Tyler Perry has written, directed and produced many film and television projects. He’s even built his own empire, Tyler Perry Studios, a 330-acre lot located in Atlanta. Here, he’s not only able to create his own projects but also help others with their creative visions. He also was the lead in the 2012 movie, Alex Cross and he played a lawyer in Gone Girl (2014).

Take a Tour of Tyler Perry Studios

A Tale of Two Travelers:

Ernest and Madea both went to jail. Madea had a few spooky movies, while Ernest was “Scared Stupid.” Ernest attended school and Madea went to her class reunion. Madea had a Christmas while Ernest saved it. Madea went into Witness Protection and Ernest served in the military.

It’s sad that Jim Varney passed away right around the time Madea was created. If Jim Varney was still around today, I’m sure we would see a crossover Madea X Ernest movie: Madea & Ernest Save the Internet, Ernest & Madea Save America, Madea Saves Ernest or Ernest Saves Madea? Maybe Madea vs Ernest (in the style of Freddy vs Jason or the Alien Vs Predator movies).

The main similarity between these two characters is that they inspired giant movie franchises (like James Bond-style). Whether you love or hate Ernest and/or Madea there is something special about each of these characters that kept people wanting to experience more of them.

Madea is no carbon copy of Ernest, I think Madea was the Ernest for the next generation. But who will be the next Ernest or Madea? Probably Ninja, Blippi or some Twitch or Youtube star-kid who gets a huge movie deal.

Borat just released his second movie film, so he’s sort of on track to becoming the next Ernest/Madea. Who knows?

Now enjoy Jim Varney reading some Toy Story Slinky Dog lines…
RIP Jim Varney (aka Ernest P Worrell)

Jim Varney voicing Slinky Dog

Elevator Etiquette (2.0)

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I know I once had the idea of writing a learning about Elevator etiquette/behavior. I also have a lot of thoughts about elevators in general and how strange they are. But today, I’m here to talk about one of my problems with elevators: dealing with other humans in elevators.

I’ve ridden many elevators (or lifts, if you’re British) in my day. I’ve always been the type of person that doesn’t want to talk to a stranger on an elevator ride. Yes, I shared a up-and-down box-cart ride with you for a few seconds, but you don’t have to tell me “good day,” or “have a nice one” or anything of the sort because of it.

I won’t be mad if you just leave me in the elevator with my thoughts once you’ve reached your destination. And if we reach my destination first I don’t think you should be mad if I don’t say anything on my way out.

I get nervous about what to say, and when I feel like I have to say something to the person I usually just walk out and scream, “Bye!” at them. It’s people who have elevator catch phrases that I’m concerned about. People who say things like, “Have a good one,” or “Take it easy,” or even “See ya later!” Ok, “see ya later,” is a very strange one. You don’t know if that’s true. You may not see me later on, you may not even see me ever again in your life.

Now with the COVID-19 elevators have gotten a whole lot weirder. There’s new rules to riding an elevator. There’s a new cap on the number of people. Remember the simple days, when it was a weight limit and you just had to hope that the elevator wouldn’t beep or shake. Also, everyone could just pack into the elevator like sardines.

Today, there is a two to four person limit (on the elevators I’ve seen). There’s also a mask rule, so it’s harder to talk to people (of course some people are idiots and don’t think they have to wear a mask, but that’s a different story altogether).

I’ve even added an additional wild card. I now wear my Bluetooth ear buds for elevator rides, grocery shopping and pretty much anywhere else I want to avoid talking to people. And it always works. Or at least if anyone has tried to talk to me, I haven’t noticed. And that’s the same as it working to me.

I will continue to use my ear buds in public well after the pandemic…

Hard Workers vs Lazy Asses

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I’m constantly working on multiple projects in my mind — Writing projects, Drawing projects. Arts and design projects, Music projects, Voice Over projects… My brain is always juggling too many ideas at any given moment.

My problem has always been choosing one thing to work on at a time. It’s hard for me to stick to one solo project when it consumes a great deal of time. While working on the one project I’m thinking of the several ones I’m currently not working on. I guess I have the same problem with the shows I choose to watch and the games I choose to play (I juggle those too).

I recently thought about how many times I’ve heard people call their friends or coworkers “Hard working.” However, I’ve never heard anyone use that term when referring to themselves. I guess if I did hear someone say, “Hi, I’m Greg and I’m a hard worker” I would think Greg was a liar and an idiot too.

I have a theory that everyone thinks they can be doing more than they are currently doing (at least I hope that’s true, because I feel like that most of the time). I’m pretty sure that everyone feels some kind of lazy, sometimes. No matter how “hard” you work, you will always feel that there is more you should be doing. You will always know someone who seems to be doing much, much more than you.

It’s the same idea as when someone calls you “old.” You may think, “Well sure I’m older than you, but I’m not as old as, uh, let’s say, Greg.” (Seriously Greg sucks!) Unless you are the oldest person on the planet (and that is only one person), there will always be someone who is older than you.

So, yeah. I believe that everyone thinks they are somewhat lazy. I would say maybe there’s a handful of Gregs out there who would call themselves “hard working.” (Once again, Greg sucks!) I guess some people have said that in an interview setting. Most people who say they are hard workers in an interview are usually lying, or don’t truly believe themselves.

Professional athletes are allowed to call themselves hard workers. But that’s pretty much it. I’d like to think that anyone else who isn’t at the pro athlete level in their job is somewhat of a lazy butt.

If you feel like a lazy sometimes let me know in the comments. I would like to know that I’m not the only one that feels this way. Also, if you’re a Greg who thinks of yourself as a hard worker and you are not a pro athlete, let me know in the comments too (I would like to know which of my readers are psychos)…

*Sorry to any Gregs out there. It was just a random name I chose since I don’t really know any Gregs in real life.

Why so many Apples?

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. That’s what people used to say. But will any apple do? Is there a specific one with doctor-repelling powers?

Why are there so many different types of apples? Back in middle school, I remember learning about the three main apples: Red Delicious, Granny Smith and Apple computers (just kidding, Golden Delicious was the third one — I think). Just by hearing their names I knew the differences in look and taste.

Now I go to Fresh Market and see more than ten varieties of apples in one day: Red Delicious, Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, Fuji, Gala, Lucy Rose, Lucy Gal, Ruby Frost, Envy, Honeycrisp and new varieties popping up each season. I usually go for Fuji or Gala, but I don’t know if I’m making the right choice with those — they’re just the safe decision sinceI already know I like them.

I actually started writing this post because after I arrived at my newly redesigned Fresh Market (Coconut Grove). They had recently changed up the aisles, the fruit stands and a bunch of other areas in the store. The Fresh Market is my favorite market to go to. When I got there I saw how beautiful the apple display looked so I took some pictures with my iPhone and wanted to find a reason to share them. So, I wrote this whole thing about apples, but now I actually thought of a pretty good idea.

Over the next few weeks (possibly months), I will try a different variety of apple each week. I will give each one a small review on the Ferdi’s Learnings Twitter account, using the hashtag #ApplesInReview (Make sure to follow @ferdislearnings on Twitter for these). When I run out of apples I will create an #ApplesInReview mega-post right here on the Ferdi’s Learnings site, ranking all of the apples. Stay tuned for that.

Here are some more delicious iPhone pictures of apples for you to enjoy while you wait for my first review…

Super Bowl LV in Review (Ad Edition)

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Let me start off by saying that I am a trained advertiser. My certificate from the Miami Ad School will prove that to you. Check it out right here:

My Miami Ad School Diploma for Copywriting

I am an also award-winning copywriter. My Andy Award will prove it to you. (I’ve received other awards too, they just wanted us to pay to create a physical version, so we didn’t do that). Check it out right here:

My Andy Award for our student project — The Underground Library

So, I think I’m pretty qualified to analyze Super Bowl Ads. Now, I did not watch the entire Super Bowl, and there’s only one set of ads that I want to talk about — the T-Mobile ones. And although they were very clever and funny, the overall message just doesn’t work and I’ll tell you why. (I hope none of my friends from Ad School were involved with these).

Super Bowl LV – T-Mobile Ad – Gwen & Blake

First off, did you watch the video above? Ok, good…

The ad says, DON’T TRUST YOUR LOVE LIFE TO JUST ANY NETWORK. T-Mobile is blaming Adam Levine’s “bad network” for Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani ending up together. So, if Adam Levine would have been using T-Mobile 5G back “a few year ago” then we wouldn’t have Blake and Gwen together today.

A few weeks ago, Bill Maher talked about how America needs a couple like Blake and Gwen to show us that we can all get along. If Blake and Gwen, two people with completely different political beliefs, can find a way to love each other then we should all be able to love each other too (Of course, some people are racist and evil and you don’t have to love them). This ad shows me that T-Mobile supports a divided country and that’s not cool. I am so glad to be an AT&T customer and I hope to one day have a poor service, life-changing FaceTime call with someone.

Now onto the second ad in this series: Gronk and Brady

Super Bowl LV – T-Mobile Ad – Gronk & Brady

The second ad shows that a poor service FaceTime call between Tom Brady and Gronk is the whole reason Tom Brady didn’t retire and won another Super Bowl. It’s also the reason why Gronk was forced to come back and get another ring with him. So, again if these two dudes had T-Mobile at the time of this call they would have been living a boring retired life instead of adding to their Super Bowl bling collections.

So, what we have learned from these two commercials?
Sometimes, great things happen when you have crappy service.

For these ads to have worked in T-Mobile’s favor they should have reversed the messaging to:
Bad things happen when you have crappy service.

* * *

There is only one Super Bowl commercial that has ever mattered to me. It was for Colgate (even though I’ve always been a Crest person and now a Sensodyne person). The commerical basically said, “Hey! Turn off the water while you brush your teeth, dummy!” It’s been five years and I still think of that message whenever I leave the faucet on while brushing my teeth.

So, that and of course anything featuring talking M&M’s always wins as my favorite commercials.

Colgate Faucet Ad – Super Bowl (2016)

Side Note: *The truth is most people are stupid and they’ll just think, ‘Aw, those T-Mobile commercials were real funny. I think I’ll get T-Mobile.’ And they won’t over-analyze the whole situation like me and that’s fine. I don’t actually believe that T-Mobile supports a divided country, I believe they are just as evil as the rest of the phone companies (including AT&T).

Food + Math = Delicious

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There are many times in the kitchen where I am forced to use Math. Math is an important skill to have. Sure, I use it in my everyday job (Accounting) sometimes, but most of that Math is done with calculators, Excel and tax programs.

When it comes to cooking I use math a whole lot. Recipes are made up of Math, and many of them are mostly made for not enough or too many people. It’s important to know how to double, half and sometimes go even further than that. What if a recipe calls for three full eggs, but you want a smaller version featuring only one or two eggs. Then it’s not about halving stuff, it’s about going into fractions (⅓ or ⅔).

I sometimes make sauces and spice mixes, but want a larger batch. So, instead of using teaspoons and tablespoons I break the recipe down to parts and use that instead. This way I can use my number system to create a large or any size batch I want.

I’ve even written down some of these breakdowns into my cookbooks. This is my breakdown of Danny Trejo’s Gringo Taco Seasoning mix.

Baking is all about math too. I have learned that baking is more of a science while grilling is more of a guessing game. Even though many baking recipes are recorded in cups, tablespoons and teaspoons, you will always get a much better bake weighing your ingredients with a scale. Grams/ounces is the way to go when making cakes, breads, cookies and any other baked goods.

I made the most Math-heavy recipe in my life the other day, and it’s not what you’d expect. This was like an algebra problem, or trigonometry (although I’m pretty great at math, I don’t know the labels of all the different types of math anymore).

Frozen Food Triple-Dipper: Frank’s RedHot Bites, Totino’s Pizza Rolls + FarmRich Mozzarella Sticks

The meal was a Frozen Food Triple-dipper. I wanted to find a way to have some chicken, something cheesy and some pizza all at once! In college, my roommates and I would throw multiple frozen items onto a pan and throw it in the oven at an average baking temperature until it smelled and looked kind of done. Of course, cooking times are also very important when it comes to frozen snacks.

What I did the other day was break it down by first finding that average temperature. Lucky for me the temperature range was from 425-450 degrees, so not that different. I also used the toaster oven which usually gets too hot so I left it at 425 degrees.

Cooking Times and Temps

Frank’s RedHot Bites
Time: 14 – 16 min
Temp: 450 degrees

Totino’s Pizza Rolls
Time: 10 – 12 min
Temp: 425 degrees

Cheese Sticks
Time: 8 – 9 min
Temp: 450 degrees

I started off baking my Frank’s RedHot Original Boneless Chicken Bites for just 4 minutes on their own. Next, I added in my Totino’s Pizza Rolls for another 4 minutes (now 8 minutes on the Frank’s). Finally, I flipped those two over and tossed in my FarmRich Mozzarella Sticks (aka Cheese Sticks) for the last 8 minutes (that’s a total of 16 for Frank’s and 12 for the Pizza Rolls).

Everything came out just perfect. Even Paul Hollywood (The Great British Baking Show) would agree.


When preparing my items I did find some Tequeños in the freezer but those had a 350 degree bake and an extra long baking time. It would have thrown off my whole system so I decided to leave them out.

There is one last thing I will leave you with. Frozen foods should never be made in the microwave, when you have the luxury of using an oven or toaster oven. Yes, it may take 4x as long to cook, but it’s well worth the wait. So, start preheating your oven now and grab a snack while you wait.