Ever since Jay-Z “retired” from music he’s gone into hiding. I don’t know if he’s into this Scientology stuff, if he’s a JeHOVah’s Witness, or if he’s just part of the Illuminati, but he’s definitely up to something.

This week I realized that I’m about 90-95% sure that Jay-Z had something to do with the “murder” of Prince (RIP Prince). Now, I wasn’t a huge fan or Prince, but I didn’t not like him either. The only Prince I really knew was Dave Chappelle’s portrayal of Prince in Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Story. Just as the death of David Bowie (who I already did appreciate before) got me listening to more Bowie, I was pretty sure the death of Prince would have me doing the same with his music.

It’s tough to listen to Prince’s music when you don’t have a Tidal subscription (like really tough, like almost impossible tough). I’m already subscribed to Spotify and Apple Music, I still haven’t been able to choose one to stick with. I like Apple Music since my whole music library is already on there with iTunes, also I can listen to Tay Tay, T.Swift, Swifty or whatever you want to call her. I was first a Spotify subscriber though and don’t want to give it up for my playlists, favorite artists and also because I can listen to it on my PS4 while I play games, all while controlling the music and volume from my iPhone or iPad (Technology Rocks!). I can literally play Star Wars while listening to the original Star Wars soundtracks (and I do it all the time).

So, I googled “how to [listen to Prince music],” as google suggested, since everyone else had already been searching. What I found was a bunch of articles. I felt like a detective who had just cracked a huge case. Apparently Prince had taken all music and videos off Spotify, Apple Music and YouTube and gone straight to Tidal, about a month ago.

Jay-Z definitely planned this whole thing. We don’t even know how Prince died. One day Prince is dead, then over the weekend Beyoncé happens to drop a new “secret album” with an hourlong documentary on HBO, but only for one day? Then, the next day all of this is on Tidal and Tidal only. If you want to (1) listen to Prince: GO TO TIDAL (2) Hear Beyoncé’s ‘Lemonade’: GO TO TIDAL, (3) watch Beyonce’s Lemonade Documentary: also, GO TO TIDAL.

I haven’t seen the full documentary yet, but it starts with Jay-Z cheating on Beyonce and how she dealt with it. I don’t buy that for a second. Have you seen how Jay-Z? He looks like a taller version of Beetlejuice (not Michael Keaton Beetlejuice.The weirdo, creeper from Howard Stern Beetlejuice). If you look like Beetlejuice and you get a Beyoncé you stay with Beyoncé. If anyone’s allowed to cheat on the other one, it’s Beyoncé. This whole “cheating scandal” was just a cover up to hide the real scandal: Jay-Z murdered Prince.

Accusing Jay-Z of murdering Prince is tough, because I grew up on Jay-Z. I owned and listened to all his albums. I watched his documentary, “Fade to Black.” But I don’t think I ever got to see him perform in person. Maybe one day, if he stays out of trouble and comes to perform in Miami, and tickets are FREE or cheap.

With the premiere of Game of Thrones being this weekend I thought of another thing about Prince. If Prince was a Game of Thrones character, he’d be Oberyn Martell. He’d be Oberyn because they both don’t discriminate. Prince and Oberyn both lie with women and men alike (or that’s what Prince wanted us to think). They were both royalty. Also, they were both full of potential, dying way too young and unexpectedly.
RIP Prince. I look forward to listening to your music for the next 27 days until I have to cancel my Tidal subscription before I get charged 25$ for HiFi service. I need to do a comparison between the sound of Apple Music, Spotify and Tidal’s HiFi, to see if it’s true or just a load of BS.

GAME, BLOUSES…