I’ve always known that Talk Radio and Sports Radio suck, but recently I learned that quite a few of my friends like to listen to it while driving. MUSIC, is what you listen to in the car. Unless you want to fall asleep and die behind the wheel. If that is the case, you can listen to all the talk radio you want, or here’s a better idea let’s listen to an audiobook (Audiobooks are for lazy people, I have something better for you, why don’t you just learn how to read?*).

If we learned anything from the movie Pineapple Express, it is that a car will kill itself (the battery will die) if you leave it on throughout the whole night listening to talk radio. Remember that when you’re listening to your stupid Talk Radio, driving to work. You are boring your car to death.

Of all Talk Radio, Sports Radio is the worst. Sports Radio is made up of people talking about sports. Sure, they do this on SportsCenter, but at least they show highlights and other fun stuff to keep it interesting. The people on Sports Radio are usually fat, lazy, good for nothing dudes who never even played sports, or retired athletes who ran out of money, and are too ugly to be on TV.

Sports Radio guys are always talking about what the coach or players should be doing, instead of what they are doing. Guess what talk radio guys? If you knew anything, then maybe they would hire you as a coach, or if you weren’t a big fat fatty maybe you would be on the team, and you could do whatever it is you want these players to do.

In conclusion, Shut up Dan LeBatard and all you other dill weeds… Thank you for your time.

 *I realized that Audiobooks could be helpful for blind people, but blind people shouldn’t be driving, so they still have no use in the car!