This week I learned a valuable lesson about single people and their non-single friends. This learning is based upon the ‘circle of friendship’ (is that a thing or did i just make that up? Let’s just pretend it is a thing and I won’t mention it ever again). 

I have been a lone wolf for a good portion of my life, but I do have a whole buttload of friends, (according to the Facebook) some single and some not so single. What I learned this week is the rules of being the “third wheel” (the single friend of the non-single friends: sometimes referred to as a couple). 

Sometimes it’s fine to be the “third wheel,” but other times it’s not cool. Some couples want the “third wheel” around, while others just keep thinking when is this idiot going to leave us alone? So, when is it cool to be the “third wheel,” turning a couple into a tricycle? 

It’s all good if you’re single to hang out with couples who have been dating for a while (there is no specific time measurement, because each couple is different). For some couples a while may be three days or one month, for others it may be years. Some couples may never want to have friends again (they usually move away to a new location and start a new life).

Sometimes you know when a couple is ready for a “third wheel,” because they are already sick of each other. In these cases the “third wheel” may be the glue holding the relationship together (as long as the “third wheel” is around there will be no fighting). You can tell this is the case if the couple is begging you to join them. Another warning sign is when the couple doesn’t talk to each other, but instead they both talk to the “third wheel” (this is a bad sign, and a horrible place to be for the “third wheeler”). 

Some couples are not ready for the “third wheel.” This is often the case with new or young couples, especially when they are super in love and can’t keep their hands off of each other (but what single person wants to be around that?). These people only want to be around each other, and even if you hang out with one of them alone they keep talking about how awesome the other person is. Later on, they will probably be complaining about how annoying the other is.

There is a third group. This group is made up of couples that love each other, but also love their friends. They are a strange group of people, but my favorite. These are the kinds of non-single people I enjoy being around. These people only suck when you have two tickets to see Dave Chappelle, and you want to take your best friend, but his wife won’t let him go without her, but then you still go and have an awesome time, so whatever… Other than that one specific example, I like these people all the time.