Come with me to a magical time. A time before this pandemic. A time where we could freely leave our homes to do things with other people and not be worried about masks, social distancing, being indoors, crowds… (I started writing this learning a few months ago, but never got to finish. And now I have completed it, but have added corrections due to the current situation we all find ourselves in).

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Bowling always is was a fun thing to do. I don’t go very often, EVER! Up until this past weekend some time in February or March, the only time I’d go bowling was on Christmas day when my friend and his wife were in town. However, this weekend many, many months ago we went bowling with some friends, and it was a pretty fun time. (I call bowling a game and not a sport, because even the Pros drink beer while bowling — that’s still true).

There is however one thing that they can change about bowling will probably be changed whenever it comes back, if it isn’t back already. Any time that you have to share a bowling lane/area with another group of strangers they are always loud and annoying. I don’t think we’re going to be allowed to share bowling areas with strangers anymore, and that’s a great thing.

You always get grouped with a big, loud family, a birthday party full of unsupervised children who are high on cake and pizza or some other obnoxious group. It’s never a quiet old couple or a group you would actually get along with. No matter who you’re paired with in bowling, they are always going to suck.

Bowling would be much better if they treated it like an Asian private karaoke bar (these could still be open during the pandemic). Every lane is a private room and you don’t have to deal with another party or strangers (also a great idea during the COVID times). If bowling were like this everyone could be as loud or annoying as they want to be, to their own group. If the people you were bowling near hated you, it would be because your friends actually hate you.

Also, why is it that no one can ever remember which ball they were rolling with (this will always be a problem in bowling)? Any time you get up to bowl and there’s a mix of two groups, your ball is always missing. You end up trying out every ball on the belt. Why can’t people keep track of their balls? Anytime it’s my turn and my ball is missing, I almost always see the stranger in the next lane rolling it (This is my second time calling it “rolling a bowling ball,” is that really what it’s called?).

Also, these huge groups bring way too many balls to the bowling area. There are always several balls that no one is using that just stay there the entire night (yes, because only psychos go bowling in the day time).

And one more thing, why do bowling shoes look like that? They always have some ugly doo doo brown color mixed in. They have your shoe size in a large font, what if you don’t want people knowing how large your feet are? Do you ask for a smaller size and just deal with it all night?

I guess what I’m saying is Bowling is weird!
And, it’s about to get a lot weirder if it hasn’t already.